Weddings are a time when families are brought together, but sometimes that means dealing with relatives who don’t get along. The last thing couples want on their big day is tension, drama, or awkward encounters.
Over the last 20 years as a
marriage and funeral celebrant, I have seen literally everything when it comes
to weddings, planning stress and family difficulties.
I have worked with so many
couples who were dealing with issues like:
· Divorced and non-speaking parents
· Family issues related to dislike of the person you’re marrying
· Family or friends who are refusing to come because someone else is invited
· Bridal party fights and issues
· Bridal party members who are making trouble or not showing up
And that’s just the tip of the
iceberg. There are so many more!
So, the point of this post is to
consider some of the ways couples can reduce their stress around these issues
so that they can have the day they want to have, not the day that has been
changed and even at times ruined by others.
REMEMBER: No
matter what happens, at the end of the day, the goal through
all of this is to be married and you will be. You
absolutely will be.
If you have family members with a history of conflict,
here are our top 10 ways to keep the peace and ensure your wedding remains a
joyful occasion.
1. Have Open and Honest Conversations
If you know certain family members may clash, have a
private conversation with them beforehand. Let them know that your wedding day
is about celebrating love, and kindly ask them to set aside their differences
for the occasion.
2. Consider Your Seating Plan Carefully
Strategic seating can make a big difference. Keep feuding
relatives at separate tables or place a buffer of neutral family members
between them. For the ceremony, ensure they are seated apart to minimize any
potential tension.
3. Give Them Roles to Focus On
Sometimes, giving relatives a role in the wedding can
help shift their focus away from conflict. Whether it’s ushering guests,
handing out programs, or giving a toast, involving them in a positive way can
help keep the peace.
4. Set Clear Expectations
Let family members know that your wedding is a drama-free
zone. If necessary, enlist a trusted friend or relative to remind them of the
importance of keeping things cordial.
5. Keep Controversial Topics Off-Limits
Encourage guests to avoid sensitive topics that could
spark arguments, such as politics, past family disputes, or personal
grievances. A friendly reminder before the wedding can help prevent heated
conversations.
6. Have a Trusted Mediator on Standby
Hopefully the family mediator is not you but consider asking
a level-headed family member or friend to step in if tensions rise. Having
someone who can defuse potential conflicts quietly can help prevent situations
from escalating.
7. Create Distraction Opportunities
If tensions seem to be brewing, a well-timed distraction
can help. Consider having interactive entertainment, games, or a lively dance
floor to keep guests engaged and focused on the celebration. Speeches can be done
early if needed too.
8. Schedule Separate Time for Feuding
Relatives
If two family members can’t be in the same room without
issues, consider scheduling separate moments for photos or interactions to
avoid unnecessary friction.
9. Be Prepared for the Worst-Case Scenario
Despite your best efforts, conflicts may arise. Have a
plan in place to remove an unruly guest if needed. Venues often have staff who
can discreetly handle such situations.
10. Focus on Your Happiness
At the end of the day, your wedding is about you and your
partner. Don’t let family drama take away from the joy of the occasion.
Surround yourself with supportive loved ones and focus on celebrating your love
story.
Final Thoughts Family dynamics can be tricky, but with a little planning and communication, you can minimize stress and create a peaceful, love-filled wedding day. By setting expectations, strategically planning seating, and keeping guests engaged, you can ensure that the focus stays where it belongs, on your happiness and the beginning of your new life together.
The Wedding Gurus x
