How to Handle Family Conflict at Your Wedding - our Top 10 Tips

 

Weddings are a time when families are brought together, but sometimes that means dealing with relatives who don’t get along. The last thing couples want on their big day is tension, drama, or awkward encounters.

Over the last 20 years as a marriage and funeral celebrant, I have seen literally everything when it comes to weddings, planning stress and family difficulties.

I have worked with so many couples who were dealing with issues like:

·         Family disputes
·         Divorced and non-speaking parents
·         Family issues related to dislike of the person you’re marrying
·         Family or friends who are refusing to come because someone else is invited
·         Bridal party fights and issues
·         Bridal party members who are making trouble or not showing up

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more!

So, the point of this post is to consider some of the ways couples can reduce their stress around these issues so that they can have the day they want to have, not the day that has been changed and even at times ruined by others.

REMEMBER: No matter what happens, at the end of the day, the goal through all of this is to be married and you will be. You absolutely will be.

If you have family members with a history of conflict, here are our top 10 ways to keep the peace and ensure your wedding remains a joyful occasion.

1. Have Open and Honest Conversations

If you know certain family members may clash, have a private conversation with them beforehand. Let them know that your wedding day is about celebrating love, and kindly ask them to set aside their differences for the occasion.

2. Consider Your Seating Plan Carefully

Strategic seating can make a big difference. Keep feuding relatives at separate tables or place a buffer of neutral family members between them. For the ceremony, ensure they are seated apart to minimize any potential tension.

3. Give Them Roles to Focus On

Sometimes, giving relatives a role in the wedding can help shift their focus away from conflict. Whether it’s ushering guests, handing out programs, or giving a toast, involving them in a positive way can help keep the peace.

4. Set Clear Expectations

Let family members know that your wedding is a drama-free zone. If necessary, enlist a trusted friend or relative to remind them of the importance of keeping things cordial.

5. Keep Controversial Topics Off-Limits

Encourage guests to avoid sensitive topics that could spark arguments, such as politics, past family disputes, or personal grievances. A friendly reminder before the wedding can help prevent heated conversations.

6. Have a Trusted Mediator on Standby

Hopefully the family mediator is not you but consider asking a level-headed family member or friend to step in if tensions rise. Having someone who can defuse potential conflicts quietly can help prevent situations from escalating.

7. Create Distraction Opportunities

If tensions seem to be brewing, a well-timed distraction can help. Consider having interactive entertainment, games, or a lively dance floor to keep guests engaged and focused on the celebration. Speeches can be done early if needed too.

8. Schedule Separate Time for Feuding Relatives

If two family members can’t be in the same room without issues, consider scheduling separate moments for photos or interactions to avoid unnecessary friction.

9. Be Prepared for the Worst-Case Scenario

Despite your best efforts, conflicts may arise. Have a plan in place to remove an unruly guest if needed. Venues often have staff who can discreetly handle such situations.

10. Focus on Your Happiness

At the end of the day, your wedding is about you and your partner. Don’t let family drama take away from the joy of the occasion. Surround yourself with supportive loved ones and focus on celebrating your love story.

Final Thoughts Family dynamics can be tricky, but with a little planning and communication, you can minimize stress and create a peaceful, love-filled wedding day. By setting expectations, strategically planning seating, and keeping guests engaged, you can ensure that the focus stays where it belongs, on your happiness and the beginning of your new life together.

The Wedding Gurus x

Top Tips for Handling Wedding Stress

Planning a wedding is an exciting time for couples, but it can also bring a a huge amount of stress. With so many details to consider, personalities to deal with and family issues, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, with the right mindset and strategies, you can work together as a team, manage any wedding stress and have an amazing wedding. 

Here are some of our top tips for keeping calm and making the most of the planning towards your special day.

1. Start Planning Early

The earlier you begin planning as a couple and get on the same page, the more time you have to handle details without feeling rushed. Create a timeline, set deadlines, and break tasks into manageable steps to stay on track.

2. Set a Realistic Budget

Financial stress is one of the biggest wedding worries and it can put a LOT of strain on the relationship. This is NOT what you want when planning the best day of your lives. Set a realistic budget early on and stick to it. Prioritize what’s most important to you both and find creative ways to save on less critical elements (check out some of our other blog posts for creative ideas).

3. Delegate Tasks

You don’t have to do everything yourself! Lean on your partner, wedding party, family, or even a wedding planner to help with tasks. Delegating reduces stress and ensures everything gets done efficiently.

4. Focus on What Matters

It’s easy to get caught up in the details, but remember that your wedding is about celebrating love and commitment. If something goes wrong, don’t let it overshadow the joy of the day. The aim of the entire day is to be married at the end of it and you will be!

5. Practice Self-Care

Make time for yourself during the planning process. Whether it’s a relaxing bath, yoga, exercise, or a fun night out, taking care of your well-being will help keep stress levels in check. Check out our wedding day stress meditation post and video.

6. Stay Organised

Use checklists, spreadsheets, or wedding planning apps to keep track of vendors, appointments, and deadlines. Staying organised will help you feel more in control and prevent last-minute surprises.

7. Communicate with Your Partner

Wedding planning should be a team effort. Have open and honest conversations with your partner about expectations, concerns, and responsibilities to ensure you're on the same page. Make sure you're checking in with each other and listening to each other. Another great thing to do is to schedule dedicated wedding planning nights so that your entire relationship doesn't become absorbed by the wedding.

8. Have a Backup Plan

Weather, vendor cancellations, and other unexpected challenges can arise. Having a backup plan in place for key elements (such as an indoor option for an outdoor wedding) will help you stay calm if changes are needed. Check out our post ion backup plans.

9. Take Breaks from Wedding Planning

Don’t let wedding planning take over your life. Schedule breaks where you and your partner can spend quality time together without discussing wedding details.

10. Accept That Not Everything Will Be Perfect

Perfection is impossible, and small hiccups are inevitable. Embrace the unexpected and focus on the big picture—your love and the celebration of your new journey together.

Final Thoughts Wedding stress is natural, but it doesn’t have to take over your experience. By staying organised, taking care of yourself, and keeping things in perspective, you can enjoy the planning process and make beautiful memories along the way. 

Remember, the most important thing is celebrating love with the people who matter most.

XX

Wedding Planning - Handling things that go wrong on the day

 Your wedding day is one of the most important and memorable days of your life. You've probably spent months, maybe even years, planning every little detail to perfection. But as with any big event, things don’t always go exactly as planned.

The key to a stress-free and enjoyable wedding day is being prepared for the unexpected and knowing how to handle any hiccups that might come your way.

Check out our suggestion for tackling some common wedding day mishaps with grace and ease.

1. Weather Woes

Outdoor weddings are beautiful, but Mother Nature doesn’t always cooperate. If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony or reception, have a backup plan in place. Rent a portable tent or marquee, arrange for an indoor space you can move to if the weather is bad, or provide guests with umbrellas and blankets in case of rain or chilly weather. If it's hot, have large umbrellas on stands, fans, water stations, and shaded areas available.

2. Wardrobe Malfunctions

A torn hem, a broken zipper, or a missing button can cause last-minute panic. Pack an emergency kit with a sewing kit, safety pins, double-sided tape, and stain remover wipes. Designate a bridesmaid or groomsman, or even a trusted friend or family member as the go-to fixer for any fashion emergencies.

3. Late or Missing Vendors

If a vendor is running late or doesn’t show up, stay calm and where you can, delegate. Have a trusted friend or wedding planner handle the situation for you if that’s at all possible. Pre-confirming all vendors is wise in the weeks leading up to the big day, and have a list of backup vendors just in case.

4. Technical Difficulties

From a microphone not working to a DJ’s playlist disappearing, technology can fail at the worst moments. Do a sound check before the ceremony, have a backup speaker, and store important playlists on multiple devices. A good wedding coordinator or celebrant will be able to adapt and keep everything going no matter what! The main objective of the day is to be married to the one you love, so as long as that happens, it’s all good.

5. Family or Guest Drama

As many couples are aware, weddings bring together people who may not always get along. If tensions are high, consider assigning a trusted friend or relative to play peacemaker. Plan your seating arrangements carefully, and remind everyone that the day is about love and celebration, not old grudges.

6. Running Behind Schedule

Timelines are great, but delays happen. Make sure your schedule has a little extra time built in as a buffer for hair and makeup, travel, and photography. If things start to run late, prioritize the most important things and trust your wedding planner or coordinator (if you have one) to help keep things moving smoothly.

7. Food or Cake Mishaps

If your caterer is running late or a cake gets damaged, remain calm (or at least try to!) and be flexible. Most caterers have contingency plans, and your venue may have extra supplies. If your dream cake gets smudged, embrace the imperfection—it’s a great story for later!

8. Cold Feet or Emotional Overload

It’s completely normal for both brides and grooms to feel overwhelmed or nervous in the days before the wedding and especially on the day. Take a few deep breaths, step away for a quiet moment if needed, and remind yourself why you’re getting married. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who will keep you calm and excited, and as the wedding is taking place and you are standing there, staring at the one you love, soak it in. Let that wave of love, excitement and joy for the future engulf you together.

9. Remember the Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, your wedding is about celebrating love and starting a new chapter.  As I said before, the goal of the day is to be married – and you will be!

Things may go wrong, but what matters most is that you and your partner are surrounded by love, joy, and the people who care about you. Embrace the unexpected, laugh at the little hiccups, and enjoy every moment – both good and not so good!

Final Thoughts No wedding is ever truly perfect, but that’s what makes it uniquely yours. The most important thing is to stay flexible, focus on the love you’re celebrating, and make wonderful memories—no matter what surprises come your way.

XX

Meditation for Bride's - de-stress before the big day!

Weddings are stressful. And for some, they can be REALLY stressful (particularly when you're dealing with family issues, bridal party fallout or any other number of things.

It's important to sometimes step back from the planning, the thinking and the lists, and take a breather to let yourself reset.

Looking after yourself and you mindset id really important and you want to head into your big day in a really good headspace.

So, we've created an easy to listen to 10 minute meditation especially for bride's who are feeling a bit of that overwhelm and just need a little reset.

Find a relaxing place, disconnect and give yourself this gift.

Enjoy!

(Warning - the narrator is Australian!)

Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

 Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

The wedding Gurus like to keep up on all the gossip around town when it comes to wedding planning and one thing that we see on a regular basis is where one partner is struggling to get the other to come to the party when it comes to planning their big day and spending a little money.

Now, we say spending a little money, but we all know that weddings can begin to burn a hole in those hardworking pockets pretty darn quick. In many situations your partner is probably right to try and keep things in check and make sure that costs are staying within the agreed budget (did you make one of those in the first place? If not, now might be a good time)

But what we’re hearing is that some brides are struggling with partners who are not only irritated and overwhelmed by the planning of it all, but also want the whole thing done and dusted on a few hundred dollars and this is causing some real relationship stress for some couples.

So, if your partner is finding the whole wedding planning stage a bit too much what are some strategies for dealing with it before it gets to breaking point?

1. Ask them to set aside a specific time to have a chat about things. In the lead up to that time, try not to harp on about he wedding or costs or anything else. Where possible, be the couple you’ve always been and save the wedding talk for the allocated time.

2. When you do sit down at the arranged time, be prepared. Have a list of things that need to get sorted out and tackle them one at a time. Having an agreed total budget amount will definitely make it easier to make decisions and ensure that both of you are clear about what is expected. The budget is definitely the first thing to tackle and this can take some time, so have some estimates ready in order to help your case and ensure the budget is realistic.

3. Some people just don’t love this stuff, so if you have a partner who is struggling with the ‘big picture’ visuals that you have in mind, you might need to take it slow, perhaps show them some pictures and be willing to negotiate. It’s so easy to get caught up with flower walls, lighting backdrops and chandelier candelabras, but if you’re mortgaging your house to pay for it, then some things might have to go. Be prepared to listen to what they think and scale back on some things that may be a little over the top.

4. Have a set list (yep another one!) of things that you each need to do or be a part of. For example, your partner may need to organise the fittings for the outfits, the transport, alcohol and a number of other things. And you will be organising the invites, hair trials, etc. Include the tasks that you will also need to do together, eg, seeing the caterer, photographer, celebrant etc. It is also a good idea to have required completion dates next to each task so that you both have a timeframe to work within.

5. Once you’ve had your set time to chat about all of the wedding details and plans, try to let it fall into the background while you each work from your list. No one likes to constantly be asked where they’re at and if things have been done, especially is the topic is a little sensitive and one partner is feeling a little ‘managed’. When the tasks reach their completion date, check in and see if they have been done and re-visit the next set of tasks in the planning.

Planning a wedding can be great fun for a couple, but it can also be absolutely awful and bring about a questioning of the relationship. Try to remember that we each have different ideas and place different values on things and sometimes your partner may not be completely on the same page as you. While one partner may have been dreaming of the perfect white wedding, a gigantic cake and a wall covered in flowers, the other might be placing more value on having family and fiends present and committing their lives to the other person. Marriage, after the party, is constant negotiation and compromise so now is a great time to get some practice!

Good luck xx