A Family Unity Ritual - Exchange of Rings (including children)

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. 

This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion.

 

At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say: 

 

"Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward? Jake, can we please have the rings?"

 

(The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)

  

"Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers).

The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.

 

May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.

 

The Wedding Gurus.

Top Tips when planning a DIY Destination Wedding.

Planning a wedding locally is relatively easy, well sort of! (if you don't have family drama, messed up plans or any of the other issues that usually drive people crazy).

Hundreds of brides, every day, plan their weddings with the benefit of suppliers and venues who are nearby and can be visited for lots of options and guidance. But what if you’re a bride planning a destination wedding in an exotic location like Bali, Mexico or Thailand…tasting that wedding cake might be a bit tricky, not to mention getting it delivered! 

We know that when every bride sets out on the wedding planning journey, the first thing to happen is the creation of the mood board, and no bride wants to compromise on their DIY vision! 

Getting all those DIY trinkets - think jam jars and origami cranes - “on location” is tricky and brides often have to settle for the ‘cookie cutter’ package the resorts offer, or suffer the cheesy props local hire places have on offer for crazy prices – try $12USD per candle in Mexico!

Although destination weddings shed their fair share of stress comparatively there are more stresses involved that most brides don’t even realise until the last minute. 

So, to give you a b it of a hand getting started, here are our top 5 musts when planning for a destination wedding.

1. Thinking ahead – A destination wedding doesn’t just mean jetting off and forgetting about everything! As well as the wedding plans and your own travel arrangements, your guests are likely to be travelling a long distance also. Don’t forget to think about their travel, accommodation and giving them all the necessary information about the local area. Best thing to do is sit down and write a to-do list of all the arrangements that need to be made, including travel, shipping, purchasing props and shipping. Next, assign responsibilities and deadlines to each task. This way, you’ll banish that bridezilla and make the day stress free!

2. Budgeting – From the onset, decide what’s important to you to take and what’s not. Trying to lug everything across the world is a hassle and not to mention expensive – especially if you have to pay excess baggage fees just to get your dress and veil across. So look into what is light and easy to send (think DIY faves such as fairy lights, jam jars, origami cranes and chalkboards), and think about what is most important to you and really adds to your vision of the day.

3. Getting ‘The Dress’ there – it’s your pride and joy but how are you going to get it there in one piece? There are a couple of options – you can place it in your luggage, pack it in a special box, carry it on board the plane and ask a nice flight attendant to care for it or even wear it on the plane – imagine the sight! However, you take it there, bring a portable steamer with you or check if your resort has one if you’re dealing with a different shaped outlet (see you really do have to think of everything).

4. The location – Do your research into the customs policies for your destination. Some countries don’t allow fruit, wood or other items, so make sure the DIY items you plan to take are allowed in the country.

5. Shipping – No bride should have to give up on the details – they’re the bits that everyone remembers! Excess baggage fees can be ridiculous, so do your research and cost comparisons and find a shipping company which suits you. If you’re going to an exotic location in the middle of nowhere, check out Pack and Send, which will send absolutely everything and anything anywhere. Anywhere? YES ANYWHERE.

Get planning your amazing destination wedding!

Creative ways to remember lost loved ones in your ceremony

Many couples about to wed have a mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister who have passed and cannot be there to celebrate with them on their special day. 

It can be very important to a lot of couples to remember these people by adding a special gesture somewhere throughout their day. However, getting the balance right between acknowledgement and keeping it light and simple so as not to over-upset the couple or the guests, is important.

We have compiled a list of ideas in this video and if you have an idea to add to this list please feel free to share it with us as a comment below: 

The Wedding Gurus

Traditional Seating at a Formal Church or Civil Ceremony

As part of our ongoing 52 Rituals/Traditions from around the world, we thought we might take a bit of a look at seating arrangements for the ceremony.

If you’re having a traditional church wedding or a large civil ceremony, but want to uphold some of the more formal or religious traditions around seating, you might want to consider the seating arrangements for the ceremony.

 

Traditionally, the bride's family and friends will be seated on the left hand side facing the front while the groom's family and friends are seated on the right. 

 

The best way to ensure that people sit where you want them to is to have an usher show people where to sit. This alleviates any confusion and lets guests know that it is okay to sit down and that they are in the right spot. Often people will stand around for fear of sitting somewhere they are not supposed to. Ushers should where possible seat guests as they arrive, from front rows to back

 

Another option is to simply place flowers or ribbons on the ends of the first few rows so that guests know that this is seating for immediate family and special guests.

Row 1 (front left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Parents – it can be difficult to organise if the parents are divorced, but if they are on good terms then they can sit together in the front row. However, if they are remarried or not on good terms, one parent and his/her new partner may like to sit a row or two back to keep things pleasant.;

Row 2 (front right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Parents – with the same considerations as above

Row 3. (second left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 4. (second right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 5. (third left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Special Guests

Row 6. (third right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Special Guests

All of the other rows can be filled with other guests in attendance as they please. It is best to have any young children toward the back so that if they need to be taken outside, it can be done without disruption to the service.

 

Of course, all of this is nothing more than a choice and if you decide to just mix it up a little and let guests sit anywhere then do what makes you happy! You can even add a fun sign that says:

No need to pick a side, we're all family now!

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Is ticking all the boxes ruining your chances of finding true love?

We live in a truly amazing time. A time of technology and instant access to, well, everything. If we want it, we can usually get it there and then and if we can’t we can probably at least order it online there and then! But there is one thing that continues to elude some in the fast-paced rat race we call life and that is of course ….Love.

In days long past it might have been as simple as glancing across a room and locking eyes with that one person who locked eyes back while for others, like a very great love story, it involved some kind of struggle or adversity, but in the end love triumphed. BUT for others, the all elusive ‘love’ has become stressful, fraught with anxiety, stress, worry and confusion.

 

We may live in an age where we can see everyone’s profile, what they look like and, irritatingly, what they had for breakfast, but with the rising number of divorces, growing depression and loneliness and general feelings of detachment that many singles are feeling when it comes to finding love are we really better off?

 

When you speak to your grandparents and in some cases even your parents about how they met, they speak of local dances, or double dating and chaperoned trips to the movies. People seemed to fall in love more often and easier without the complication of his/her ugly profile pic or finding some differing political view after stalking their Facebook profile. Somehow, it seems, that society now finds it acceptable for each person to have a ‘list’ and hard copy or mental page of tick boxes that a potential lover must at least be able to fill the majority of the page.

 

Someone I know, who shall remain nameless (for fear she will kill me), has one such list. It’s extensive, complicated and to be honest utterly unrealistic. Yet she stands by said list with vigour and should a potential date not tick one of the major items then he is out the door without a second thought. Strange? Apparently not, because it seems that more and more are adopting just such an approach.

 

In Shanghai, there are actually organised ‘Expo’s’ that offer singles seeking an ‘appropriate’ partner the opportunity to not only come along, but bring their entire family in order to find Mr or Mrs Right. It’s called the Annual Love and Marriage Expo, but there seems to be very little love in the atmosphere at these events that feel more like and business or career event.

 

According to CNN these gatherings, which attract a staggering amount of singles – in the thousands, are so big that they have to be held in a shopping complex! With as many parents roaming around looking for ‘suitable’ candidates for their children as there are singles themselves, many flock to the many billboards that display not only pictures, but essential information such as age, height, education and yes, you guessed, that most important piece, annual income. 

 

With speed dating on offer for many who have never even had a date before, love, romance and the old-fashioned, ‘getting to know each other' are not only forgotten, but seem impossible.

 

While we might laugh or scoff at how absurd it sounds, we need to ask ourselves, is this merely a more extreme version of ticking all the boxes? Is this what many singles with long lists of criteria are doing anyway? Perhaps it is a little more subtly or justified as trying to weed out Mr or Mrs Wrong, but are we in fact treating love and chemistry as something of a job and person specification? Could we be cheating ourselves out of finding the absolute most perfect person for us simply because a box or two has not been ticked?

 

Food for thought!

 

Wedding Ceremony planning

 

Let’s talk Ceremonies

To keep it upbeat and light I thought I would talk about ceremonies in general. Keep in mind that while couples spend months and thousands of dollars on their receptions, they sometimes forget about the ceremony. Of course the party and dancing are wonderful, but don’t forget that what you are there for is to actually commit to one another for life. Your family and guests aren’t just there for the free food and entertainment (although if your family is anything like mine, they may well be), they are there to see you make that commitments to one another. A good ceremony will envoke an emotive response in your guests with laughter and tears and warm memories.

So many clients come to me having absolutely no idea about how to plan their wedding ceremony, what the legal requirements are or how to put together something special and memorable which is what we all want, right?

The first question I usually ask them is “have you attended many ceremonies before?” Often the answer is no and it is at this point we start with a completely blank canvas and begin to build a fantastic ceremony from scratch.

Sometimes though, the answer is yes, so the next question I ask them is “thinking back to those ceremonies, what did you like, what did you dislike and were there any points during the ceremony that you felt like pulling your fingernails out with boredom?”

This is always a great place to start. It’s easy to pick someone elses ceremony to pieces so the best way to make yours great is to analyse those that you yourself have attended. It’s not about being mean, but about recognising what inspires and uplifts you and how you can put some of your own personalities into your big day so that it really reflects who you are as individuals and as a couple.

Once we have established a list of like’s and dislike’s then we are ready to start making some plans. There are so many choices, but the most important thing to establish before proceeding is if you want a more traditional ceremony or something modern and different. If you really want to stick with a traditional format, then there are plenty of things that you can incorporate to make it beautiful and most importantly your own. If you really want something different and modern however, then the world is your oyster so to speak!

There are so many considerations, such as the length of the ceremony, the wording, giving of the bride, readings, vows whether or not to include a ritual and the list goes on……

So what is the order of a ‘usual’ ceremony?

Well it goes something like this, but is open to modification:

 

 › Opening music details:

 › Details of Bridal parties entrance

› The Welcome: (Celebrant usually writes this – just 1-2 lines)

› Any announcements about having an unplugged ceremony - no photos or social media

› Acknowledgement of loved ones that are passed or can't be present

› Giving of the Bride:

› Introduction:

› 1^st Reading: To be read by:

› Celebrant’s legal words (where required)

› The Asking:

› The Vows: 

› The Ring Ceremony: 

› Details of any traditions/rituals/symbolism/blessings: 

› 2^nd Reading: To be read by:

› Declaration by Celebrant:

› Signing of Marriage Certificate & Register

› Presentation of Bride and Groom as Mr & Mrs

› Any announcements for guests - group photos or petal archway etc

 

So this is just a guide and as long as all of the legal requirements are met (depending on which country you live in of course) then you can add and remove things to suit your needs.

In future blogs I will address each of these sections individually and in more depth, so please post your comments or any questions and I am happy to answer or help in any way.

Top 100 Wedding Songs!

Choosing songs for your wedding can be a challenging task and it can become a really stressful one if you have no idea where to start.  

So, we have put together our  top 100 songs for you to help you make some choices. Feel free to let us know if there is one you love that we haven’t included.

 

1.               Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

2.               You're Still The One - Shania Twain 

3.               Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden

4.               Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

5.               Amazed - Lonestar

6.               Angels - Robbie Williams

7.               When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

8.               Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams

9.               I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

10.           You're Beautiful - James Blunt

11.           Shania Twain - From This Moment

12.           Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

13.           All About Loving You - Bon Jovi

14.           Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John

15.           Tonight I Celebrate My Love - Peobo Bryson and Roberta Flack

16.           I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You – Elvis Presley

17.           Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel

18.           Endless Love – Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

19.           Dream Come True – Frozen Ghost

20.           Unforgettable - Natalie & Nat King Cole

21.           After All - Peter Cetera & Cher

22.           All My Life - Linda Ronstadt

23.           All My Life - KC & JoJo

24.           Always - Atlantic Star

25.           Always & Forever - Heatwave

26.           A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle

27.           Back At One - Bryan McKnight

28.           Beautiful In My Eyes - Joshua Kadison

29.           Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

30.           Breathe - Faith Hill

31.           Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

32.           Chances Are - Johnny Mathis

33.           Colour My World - Chicago

34.           Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray

35.           Crazy - Patsy Cline

36.           Don't Know Much - Linda Ronstant & Aaron Neville

37.           Faithfully - Journey

38.           Forever - Mariah Carey

39.           Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis

40.           From Here To Eternity - Michael Peterson

41.           Groovy Kind Of Love - Phil Collins

42.           Grow Old With Me - Mary Chapin Carpenter

43.           Hawaiian Wedding Song - Andy Williams

44.           Here & Now - Luther Vandross

45.           I Can Love You Like That - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

46.           I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain

47.           I Cross My Heart - George Strait

48.           I Do (Cherish You) - 98 Degrees or Mark Wills

49.           I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

50.           I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand

51.           I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

52.           I'll Be - Edwin McCain

53.           I'll Still Be Loving You - Restless Heart

54.           I Love The Way You Love Me - John Michael Montgomery

55.           In This Life - Colin Raye

56.           I Only Have Eyes For You - Art Garfunkel

57.           It Had To Be You - Harry Connick Jr.

58.           It's Your Love - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

59.           I Swear - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

60.           Keeper Of The Stars - Tracy Byrd

61.           Lady In Red - Chris Deburgh

62.           Look At Us - Vince Gill

63.           Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

64.           Love Can Build A Bridge - Judds

65.           Love Of A Lifetime - Firehouse

66.           Love Of My Life - Sammy Kershaw

67.           Masterpiece - Atlantic Starr

68.           Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

69.           Moon River - Andy Willams

70.           More Than Words - Extreme

71.           More Than Words Can Say - Alias

72.           My Best Friend - Tim McGraw

73.           One In A Million - Larry Graham

74.           Only You - Platters

75.           Open Arms - Journey

76.           Power Of Love - Celine Dion

77.           Saving The Best For Last - Vanessa Williams

78.           Sea Of Love - Honeydrippers

79.           Stand By Me - Ben E. King

80.           Still The One - Shania Twain

81.           Take My Breath Away - Berlin

82.           That's Amore - Dean Martin

83.           That's What Friends Are For - Dionne Warwick

84.           The Time Of My Life - Bill Medley

85.           The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra

86.           Through The Eyes Of Love - Melissa Manchester

87.           Through The Years - Kenny Rogers

88.           To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

89.           True Companion - Marc Cohn

90.           Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

91.           Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker

92.           Valentine - Martina McBride

93.           Waiting For A Girl - Foreigner

94.           We've Only Just Begun - Carpenters

95.           What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

96.           When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton

97.           When I Fall In Love - Nat King Cole or Celine Dion

98.           When I Said I Do - Clint Black & Lisa Hartman-Black

99.           When You Say Nothing At All - Keith Whitley 

100.        Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler

101.        Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

102.        You & I - Eddie Rabbitt & Crystal Gayle

103.        You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cocker

104.        You Had Me At Hello - Kenny Chesney

105.        You're The Inspiration - Chicago

106.        You're Love Amazes Me - John Berry

107.        Your Song - Elton John

108.        You've Got A Friend - James Taylor

109.        You've Got A Way - Shania Twain

 

We hope you find a few that you like in this list. Feel free to add some more.