The wedding day first look - raw emotion as the couples eyes meet

As a celebrant, I am lucky enough to get to spend time with each couple in the lead up to their wedding day. Getting to know them, planning their ceremony and working out the right wording takes time and it is during this time that I usually get a real sense of who they are and how they ‘fit’ together as a couple. 

At some stage in this process we usually get the part where we either have a rehearsal or at least a run through of what will happen on the day and where everyone will stand. This is usually fun and exciting, but I have found that despite going over all the details, it in no way prepares them for the explosion of emotion and love they often feel overcome by at the very moment they see each other on the day.

The celebrant usually arrives at the venue at least half an hour in advance on the day in order to set up and prepare documents etc. In a ceremony with a bride and groom, the groom and his groomsmen are usually wandering around, greeting guests as they arrive and looking generally nervous!

As the moment draws near and tensions build, the bride finally arrives and as I usher the groom and groomsmen into position, the nerves and anticipation of the guests are palpable.

As we wait, the groomsmen are usually giving the groom grief, teasing him and making jokes, but as the bride appears from whatever direction she enters, the mood changes. All eyes are on his bride and I would have to say that in about 80 percent of cases, the groom cries. Not sobbing or bawling, but tears of joy, of gratitude and of how lucky he feels. This is particularly true when the couple have children and the children enter in front of the bride. Even the biggest, blokiest of them all usually succumb (and in fact are often the softest!) Its a beautiful moment and one that I feel so honoured to share with the couple.

Where we have two grooms or two brides, it's pretty much the same, but sometimes they will arrive together or both walk down the aisle separately and sometimes have mixed bridal parties. 

No matter what it may be, the exchange between the couple when they first see each other is magical and I feel so blessed to get to be a part of life's big moments like this.

So, make sure your photographer knows that you want to capture that moment and they are ready top snap when your eyes first meet on the aisle to becoming a married couple.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - The Giving of the Bride

 

It is almost certain that everyone would be familiar with this wedding tradition. Even though it has become commonplace at most wedding ceremonies, many would be surprised by the extent of the numerous variations to this theme. 

The Giving Away of the bride has a long history. In Roman times, it was the custom for a young woman to be under the authority and protection of the head of her household; this would usually have been her father or elder brother. When she married, that responsibility was then passed to her husband. This was the origin of the ‘Giving away’ ceremony.

Times certainly have changed, but we retain this ancient custom with a somewhat new cultural meaning. Nowadays it is considered as the perfect occasion when the father- daughter relationship is acknowledged. It also allows the families and friends of the Bride and Groom to show their approval and support for the union. 

Below are 2 examples of common wording, and in a later post we'll share with you a more modern version for those that don't like the wording/concept of 'giving away'.

Examples:

1. Celebrant addresses person giving bride away:

‘Who brings this woman to be married to this man?’

Person replies: ‘I do’ (Then steps forward and joins the other guests.)

 

2. If both the Bride’s and Groom’s parents are involved, the celebrant will ask them to stand, and addresses the guests as follows:

‘Who brings this man to stand beside this woman?’

Groom’s Parents ‘We do’

‘And who brings this woman to stand beside this man?’

Bride’s Parents ‘We do’

‘Are you willing now and always to support and strengthen this marriage by upholding both Lindsay and Lisa with your love and support?’

All parents: ‘We are’

 

3. When the father is the giving the bride away, the celebrant may say:

‘When thinking about this moment people will often ponder on what are the real values in life, and come to decide what it is that really matters — it is human relationships. One of the deepest, yet understated relationships in life is that between the caring father and his loving daughter, and one of the rare occasions that this relationship has the opportunity to be openly acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony.

(Insert Father’s name) represents his family and all of us here today, but in a special gesture on this important occasion he symbolises his own personal love for his daughter and their journey together to this point.

So mindful of these values and of that love I now ask him, who brings this woman to be married to this man?’

Father: ‘I do’

He then joins the other guests

 

The Wedding Gurus xx

Look out for future posts and modern versions of this topic.

Silent Flower Ritual

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but its significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed to the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon-to-be mother-in-law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers' role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Top Tips when planning a DIY Destination Wedding.

Planning a wedding locally is relatively easy, well sort of! (if you don't have family drama, messed up plans or any of the other issues that usually drive people crazy).

Hundreds of brides, every day, plan their weddings with the benefit of suppliers and venues who are nearby and can be visited for lots of options and guidance. But what if you’re a bride planning a destination wedding in an exotic location like Bali, Mexico or Thailand…tasting that wedding cake might be a bit tricky, not to mention getting it delivered! 

We know that when every bride sets out on the wedding planning journey, the first thing to happen is the creation of the mood board, and no bride wants to compromise on their DIY vision! 

Getting all those DIY trinkets - think jam jars and origami cranes - “on location” is tricky and brides often have to settle for the ‘cookie cutter’ package the resorts offer, or suffer the cheesy props local hire places have on offer for crazy prices – try $12USD per candle in Mexico!

Although destination weddings shed their fair share of stress comparatively there are more stresses involved that most brides don’t even realise until the last minute. 

So, to give you a b it of a hand getting started, here are our top 5 musts when planning for a destination wedding.

1. Thinking ahead – A destination wedding doesn’t just mean jetting off and forgetting about everything! As well as the wedding plans and your own travel arrangements, your guests are likely to be travelling a long distance also. Don’t forget to think about their travel, accommodation and giving them all the necessary information about the local area. Best thing to do is sit down and write a to-do list of all the arrangements that need to be made, including travel, shipping, purchasing props and shipping. Next, assign responsibilities and deadlines to each task. This way, you’ll banish that bridezilla and make the day stress free!

2. Budgeting – From the onset, decide what’s important to you to take and what’s not. Trying to lug everything across the world is a hassle and not to mention expensive – especially if you have to pay excess baggage fees just to get your dress and veil across. So look into what is light and easy to send (think DIY faves such as fairy lights, jam jars, origami cranes and chalkboards), and think about what is most important to you and really adds to your vision of the day.

3. Getting ‘The Dress’ there – it’s your pride and joy but how are you going to get it there in one piece? There are a couple of options – you can place it in your luggage, pack it in a special box, carry it on board the plane and ask a nice flight attendant to care for it or even wear it on the plane – imagine the sight! However, you take it there, bring a portable steamer with you or check if your resort has one if you’re dealing with a different shaped outlet (see you really do have to think of everything).

4. The location – Do your research into the customs policies for your destination. Some countries don’t allow fruit, wood or other items, so make sure the DIY items you plan to take are allowed in the country.

5. Shipping – No bride should have to give up on the details – they’re the bits that everyone remembers! Excess baggage fees can be ridiculous, so do your research and cost comparisons and find a shipping company which suits you. If you’re going to an exotic location in the middle of nowhere, check out Pack and Send, which will send absolutely everything and anything anywhere. Anywhere? YES ANYWHERE.

Get planning your amazing destination wedding!

Creative ways to remember lost loved ones in your ceremony

Many couples about to wed have a mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister who have passed and cannot be there to celebrate with them on their special day. 

It can be very important to a lot of couples to remember these people by adding a special gesture somewhere throughout their day. However, getting the balance right between acknowledgement and keeping it light and simple so as not to over-upset the couple or the guests, is important.

We have compiled a list of ideas in this video and if you have an idea to add to this list please feel free to share it with us as a comment below: 

The Wedding Gurus

Traditional Seating at a Formal Church or Civil Ceremony

As part of our ongoing 52 Rituals/Traditions from around the world, we thought we might take a bit of a look at seating arrangements for the ceremony.

If you’re having a traditional church wedding or a large civil ceremony, but want to uphold some of the more formal or religious traditions around seating, you might want to consider the seating arrangements for the ceremony.

 

Traditionally, the bride's family and friends will be seated on the left hand side facing the front while the groom's family and friends are seated on the right. 

 

The best way to ensure that people sit where you want them to is to have an usher show people where to sit. This alleviates any confusion and lets guests know that it is okay to sit down and that they are in the right spot. Often people will stand around for fear of sitting somewhere they are not supposed to. Ushers should where possible seat guests as they arrive, from front rows to back

 

Another option is to simply place flowers or ribbons on the ends of the first few rows so that guests know that this is seating for immediate family and special guests.

Row 1 (front left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Parents – it can be difficult to organise if the parents are divorced, but if they are on good terms then they can sit together in the front row. However, if they are remarried or not on good terms, one parent and his/her new partner may like to sit a row or two back to keep things pleasant.;

Row 2 (front right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Parents – with the same considerations as above

Row 3. (second left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 4. (second right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 5. (third left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Special Guests

Row 6. (third right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Special Guests

All of the other rows can be filled with other guests in attendance as they please. It is best to have any young children toward the back so that if they need to be taken outside, it can be done without disruption to the service.

 

Of course, all of this is nothing more than a choice and if you decide to just mix it up a little and let guests sit anywhere then do what makes you happy! You can even add a fun sign that says:

No need to pick a side, we're all family now!

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Top 100 Wedding Songs!

Choosing songs for your wedding can be a challenging task and it can become a really stressful one if you have no idea where to start.  

So, we have put together our  top 100 songs for you to help you make some choices. Feel free to let us know if there is one you love that we haven’t included.

 

1.               Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

2.               You're Still The One - Shania Twain 

3.               Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden

4.               Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

5.               Amazed - Lonestar

6.               Angels - Robbie Williams

7.               When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

8.               Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams

9.               I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

10.           You're Beautiful - James Blunt

11.           Shania Twain - From This Moment

12.           Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

13.           All About Loving You - Bon Jovi

14.           Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John

15.           Tonight I Celebrate My Love - Peobo Bryson and Roberta Flack

16.           I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You – Elvis Presley

17.           Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel

18.           Endless Love – Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

19.           Dream Come True – Frozen Ghost

20.           Unforgettable - Natalie & Nat King Cole

21.           After All - Peter Cetera & Cher

22.           All My Life - Linda Ronstadt

23.           All My Life - KC & JoJo

24.           Always - Atlantic Star

25.           Always & Forever - Heatwave

26.           A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle

27.           Back At One - Bryan McKnight

28.           Beautiful In My Eyes - Joshua Kadison

29.           Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

30.           Breathe - Faith Hill

31.           Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

32.           Chances Are - Johnny Mathis

33.           Colour My World - Chicago

34.           Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray

35.           Crazy - Patsy Cline

36.           Don't Know Much - Linda Ronstant & Aaron Neville

37.           Faithfully - Journey

38.           Forever - Mariah Carey

39.           Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis

40.           From Here To Eternity - Michael Peterson

41.           Groovy Kind Of Love - Phil Collins

42.           Grow Old With Me - Mary Chapin Carpenter

43.           Hawaiian Wedding Song - Andy Williams

44.           Here & Now - Luther Vandross

45.           I Can Love You Like That - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

46.           I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain

47.           I Cross My Heart - George Strait

48.           I Do (Cherish You) - 98 Degrees or Mark Wills

49.           I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

50.           I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand

51.           I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

52.           I'll Be - Edwin McCain

53.           I'll Still Be Loving You - Restless Heart

54.           I Love The Way You Love Me - John Michael Montgomery

55.           In This Life - Colin Raye

56.           I Only Have Eyes For You - Art Garfunkel

57.           It Had To Be You - Harry Connick Jr.

58.           It's Your Love - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

59.           I Swear - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

60.           Keeper Of The Stars - Tracy Byrd

61.           Lady In Red - Chris Deburgh

62.           Look At Us - Vince Gill

63.           Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

64.           Love Can Build A Bridge - Judds

65.           Love Of A Lifetime - Firehouse

66.           Love Of My Life - Sammy Kershaw

67.           Masterpiece - Atlantic Starr

68.           Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

69.           Moon River - Andy Willams

70.           More Than Words - Extreme

71.           More Than Words Can Say - Alias

72.           My Best Friend - Tim McGraw

73.           One In A Million - Larry Graham

74.           Only You - Platters

75.           Open Arms - Journey

76.           Power Of Love - Celine Dion

77.           Saving The Best For Last - Vanessa Williams

78.           Sea Of Love - Honeydrippers

79.           Stand By Me - Ben E. King

80.           Still The One - Shania Twain

81.           Take My Breath Away - Berlin

82.           That's Amore - Dean Martin

83.           That's What Friends Are For - Dionne Warwick

84.           The Time Of My Life - Bill Medley

85.           The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra

86.           Through The Eyes Of Love - Melissa Manchester

87.           Through The Years - Kenny Rogers

88.           To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

89.           True Companion - Marc Cohn

90.           Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

91.           Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker

92.           Valentine - Martina McBride

93.           Waiting For A Girl - Foreigner

94.           We've Only Just Begun - Carpenters

95.           What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

96.           When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton

97.           When I Fall In Love - Nat King Cole or Celine Dion

98.           When I Said I Do - Clint Black & Lisa Hartman-Black

99.           When You Say Nothing At All - Keith Whitley 

100.        Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler

101.        Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

102.        You & I - Eddie Rabbitt & Crystal Gayle

103.        You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cocker

104.        You Had Me At Hello - Kenny Chesney

105.        You're The Inspiration - Chicago

106.        You're Love Amazes Me - John Berry

107.        Your Song - Elton John

108.        You've Got A Friend - James Taylor

109.        You've Got A Way - Shania Twain

 

We hope you find a few that you like in this list. Feel free to add some more.