The wedding day first look - raw emotion as the couples eyes meet

As a celebrant, I am lucky enough to get to spend time with each couple in the lead up to their wedding day. Getting to know them, planning their ceremony and working out the right wording takes time and it is during this time that I usually get a real sense of who they are and how they ‘fit’ together as a couple. 

At some stage in this process we usually get the part where we either have a rehearsal or at least a run through of what will happen on the day and where everyone will stand. This is usually fun and exciting, but I have found that despite going over all the details, it in no way prepares them for the explosion of emotion and love they often feel overcome by at the very moment they see each other on the day.

The celebrant usually arrives at the venue at least half an hour in advance on the day in order to set up and prepare documents etc. In a ceremony with a bride and groom, the groom and his groomsmen are usually wandering around, greeting guests as they arrive and looking generally nervous!

As the moment draws near and tensions build, the bride finally arrives and as I usher the groom and groomsmen into position, the nerves and anticipation of the guests are palpable.

As we wait, the groomsmen are usually giving the groom grief, teasing him and making jokes, but as the bride appears from whatever direction she enters, the mood changes. All eyes are on his bride and I would have to say that in about 80 percent of cases, the groom cries. Not sobbing or bawling, but tears of joy, of gratitude and of how lucky he feels. This is particularly true when the couple have children and the children enter in front of the bride. Even the biggest, blokiest of them all usually succumb (and in fact are often the softest!) Its a beautiful moment and one that I feel so honoured to share with the couple.

Where we have two grooms or two brides, it's pretty much the same, but sometimes they will arrive together or both walk down the aisle separately and sometimes have mixed bridal parties. 

No matter what it may be, the exchange between the couple when they first see each other is magical and I feel so blessed to get to be a part of life's big moments like this.

So, make sure your photographer knows that you want to capture that moment and they are ready top snap when your eyes first meet on the aisle to becoming a married couple.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Meditation for Bride's - de-stress before the big day!

Weddings are stressful. And for some, they can be REALLY stressful (particularly when you're dealing with family issues, bridal party fallout or any other number of things.

It's important to sometimes step back from the planning, the thinking and the lists, and take a breather to let yourself reset.

Looking after yourself and you mindset id really important and you want to head into your big day in a really good headspace.

So, we've created an easy to listen to 10 minute meditation especially for bride's who are feeling a bit of that overwhelm and just need a little reset.

Find a relaxing place, disconnect and give yourself this gift.

Enjoy!

(Warning - the narrator is Australian!)

Ditch the Bridezilla and be a total Bridecess

 

Yes we made it up, but ‘Bridecess’ is our new favourite word!

... July is upon us and it has prompted our thoughts to turn to wedding trends and ideas for 2023.

 Now this may be somewhat controversial given the society we live in, our love of good drama, and the popularity of some TV shows, but it is our belief (The Wedding Gurus) that

‘Bridezilla’ is well and truly OUT!

Being a bride has always carried with it a certain elegance and beauty that those of us who have not been lucky enough to walk down the aisle can only dream of experiencing.

We imagine ourselves moving graciously down the flower adorned aisle or pathway to join our fabulous waiting partner as all our guests and loved ones look on in awe and shed a tear in response to the heart warming exchange between the couple - the loves of their lives.

With this in mind, how then did it ever become fashionable to transform into what we know as 'Bridezilla'?

The word itself brings to mind a horrific picture: A bride in a huge flouncy dress screaming and frothing at the mouth as others try desperately to tame and calm her outbursts. Is it really ever pleasant to have people see us this way on what should be our time to really shine?

Lets be real. Do you honestly want to be seen as an out of control, screaming, nasty bride to be, so feared by not only your bridesmaids, but also your friends and family that by the time the big day arrives they would much rather suffocate you than be part of your special day?

Or do you want to aspire to the persona of someone like Princess Kate Middleton (see where the word Bridecess came from?) who showed courtesy and good manners to all those around her and pulled it all off with such elegance and class? (or if you don't want to go that far, which is understandable, just be someone that puts on a good show and makes people feel welcome!)

We want to convince every one of you to aspire to be a gorgeous and glowing bride, one that is calm, in control and who leaves every person in the room thinking what a perfect choice the groom/partner has made.

Let the singles wish they were you or wish they had found you first. Let the elderly people comment on your glow and your fun, while the married women wish they had been so fabulous on their wedding day. Let your parents burst with pride at what a great job they have done and your in-laws feel grateful for the daughter they are gaining. Let your bridesmaids feel excited and privileged to have such a great friend and to have had an absolutely fabulous time helping you with this wedding. But most of all ,let your partner feel that they are absolutely the luckiest person alive to be the one standing beside you.

So......ditch that old Bridezilla (its so 2015) and find your inner Bridecess. Your friends, family, bridesmaids and soon to be marriage partner will all thank you for it.

We’ve put together a few ways that we think you can achieve the true title of ‘Bridecess’

1. Accept the fact that things will go wrong, they always do but it is the way you react to it that will determine whether it complete ruins your wedding or is remembered as merely a road bump on the way to a perfect day.

2. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will be there to help you and remind you of the real meaning of the day.

3. Be organised, plan and work out every detail so that nothing can pop up and stress you out.

4. Scheduling 'you' time that does not involve wedding planning and is relaxing and uplifting.

5. Throw out all the old sayings you have heard –

"You cant please them all so just please yourself",

"You can pick your friends but you cant pick your relatives".

“Weddings are as stressful as a death in the family"

All of these statements carry some degree of truth, but if you approach wedding planning in this negative frame of mind you will feel nothing but stress and anxiety. Of course you have to think about your guests and wedding party, it’s primarily your day but they are all playing a part and deserve to enjoy it too.

6. Lastly but most importantly don’t forget that you are a couple and this is supposed to be the happiest day of both of your lives. Imagine how it feels to be a partner about to marry thier true love only to see her go from being a wonderful person to a total out of control train wreck.

Do you want your tantrums, tears and bad behaviour to be etched in the memories of your guests when they recall your wedding day? or do want them to be using you as their example when they begin planning their day?

Queens, you've got this. 

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

 

 

Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

 Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

The wedding Gurus like to keep up on all the gossip around town when it comes to wedding planning and one thing that we see on a regular basis is where one partner is struggling to get the other to come to the party when it comes to planning their big day and spending a little money.

Now, we say spending a little money, but we all know that weddings can begin to burn a hole in those hardworking pockets pretty darn quick. In many situations your partner is probably right to try and keep things in check and make sure that costs are staying within the agreed budget (did you make one of those in the first place? If not, now might be a good time)

But what we’re hearing is that some brides are struggling with partners who are not only irritated and overwhelmed by the planning of it all, but also want the whole thing done and dusted on a few hundred dollars and this is causing some real relationship stress for some couples.

So, if your partner is finding the whole wedding planning stage a bit too much what are some strategies for dealing with it before it gets to breaking point?

1. Ask them to set aside a specific time to have a chat about things. In the lead up to that time, try not to harp on about he wedding or costs or anything else. Where possible, be the couple you’ve always been and save the wedding talk for the allocated time.

2. When you do sit down at the arranged time, be prepared. Have a list of things that need to get sorted out and tackle them one at a time. Having an agreed total budget amount will definitely make it easier to make decisions and ensure that both of you are clear about what is expected. The budget is definitely the first thing to tackle and this can take some time, so have some estimates ready in order to help your case and ensure the budget is realistic.

3. Some people just don’t love this stuff, so if you have a partner who is struggling with the ‘big picture’ visuals that you have in mind, you might need to take it slow, perhaps show them some pictures and be willing to negotiate. It’s so easy to get caught up with flower walls, lighting backdrops and chandelier candelabras, but if you’re mortgaging your house to pay for it, then some things might have to go. Be prepared to listen to what they think and scale back on some things that may be a little over the top.

4. Have a set list (yep another one!) of things that you each need to do or be a part of. For example, your partner may need to organise the fittings for the outfits, the transport, alcohol and a number of other things. And you will be organising the invites, hair trials, etc. Include the tasks that you will also need to do together, eg, seeing the caterer, photographer, celebrant etc. It is also a good idea to have required completion dates next to each task so that you both have a timeframe to work within.

5. Once you’ve had your set time to chat about all of the wedding details and plans, try to let it fall into the background while you each work from your list. No one likes to constantly be asked where they’re at and if things have been done, especially is the topic is a little sensitive and one partner is feeling a little ‘managed’. When the tasks reach their completion date, check in and see if they have been done and re-visit the next set of tasks in the planning.

Planning a wedding can be great fun for a couple, but it can also be absolutely awful and bring about a questioning of the relationship. Try to remember that we each have different ideas and place different values on things and sometimes your partner may not be completely on the same page as you. While one partner may have been dreaming of the perfect white wedding, a gigantic cake and a wall covered in flowers, the other might be placing more value on having family and fiends present and committing their lives to the other person. Marriage, after the party, is constant negotiation and compromise so now is a great time to get some practice!

Good luck xx

10 Ideas to Plan the Perfect Hen's Night

Here are our top 10 tips for planning a Hen's night the bride will love!

1. Ask the Bride First

If you’re looking for pointers on how to plan the perfect hens night, who better to talk to than the bride herself? She’ll either leave it all up to you or she’ll have a few ideas of her own. Either way it’s always best to hash it out first. If she wants to help you plan, add a few extra surprises along the way.

2. Start Early

If you’re planning a hen’s night, day or weekend it’s best to plan well in advance. This will ensure that all the guests are available and you’ll also be less stressed come the big day.

3. Guest List

Again, you should ask the bride before sending out the invites. You might have a few ideas and want to surprise her but it’s best if she knows who’s invited first so that no one is left out.

4. Pick a Date

Once you’ve got the guest list sorted you can start hashing out dates. Have a few options handy and ask around. One of the dates will ultimately be better suited to most people. Unfortunately when planning parties it’s almost inevitable that one or two people won’t be able to make it but always choose a date that fits the bride, VIP’s and majority of guests.

5. Budget

Once you’ve planned the events you should be able to stick to a budget. You can have a great time without spending a whole lot of money. Keep in mind any accommodation, meals, activities etc. It’s a good idea to let everyone know well ahead of time if you need them to chip in.

6. Accommodation

Whether you’re all staying the night in a fancy hotel or you just need somewhere to play party games, you need to plan your accommodation and book well in advance.

7. Activities

Sure there’s the good old pub crawl but that’s not going to fit with every hen. Instead of coming up with traditional hen night ideas think about the hen’s personality and favourite things and come up with some ideas based around that. It’s hard to go wrong with spa treatments and anything that will pamper your hen and guests.

8. Gifts

The hen’s night is the perfect time to give the hen those cheeky gifts for the wedding night and honeymoon period. Why not buy some beautiful lingerie or some bedroom games for the hen and her rooster.

9. Dinner

Pick a restaurant you and the girls haven’t been to before. Ask for recommendations and always check the place out before you book. See if there’s a secluded area where the party can reside and always check the wine list.

10. Girls Night

A lot of hens would rather a girl’s night in than a pub crawl. Host a girlie sleepover, complete with pyjamas, sleeping bags, beauty kits, romantic comedies and magazines.

Special thanks to Guest Blogger, Sandra Worsley

Author Bio: Sandra Worsley is an experienced Australian writer. She often provides great tips on wedding preparations and organising special events.

Hens Night planning - The Basics you need

 

Planning a Hens night can be stressful, but we're  here to help.

There are loads of ideas that can be found online, but here's a little overview to get you started.

3 Months prior

-    The hens night planning should begin at least 3 months  prior to the wedding, the last thing you want is for the night to be a flop and the bride to feel disappointed because you left it to the last minute. 

      Ask the bride what type of hens night she is hoping for: a night on the town, a weekend getaway, a day of pampering or a fun night at home. Aim to understand her comfort level remember what you may consider as a fun night out she may consider as a nightmare and there is nothing worse than a humiliated bride. Determine the demographics of your guest list and plan accordingly, your aim as the organiser is to ensure all your lovely guests have a safe, fun and memorable night.

-    Next you should establish a date, we suggest for this to be between 2-3 weeks before the wedding, NEVER EVER EVER do it the night before! The only exception to this golden rule is if the bride or bridal party are flying in for the wedding – and if so keep it low key. If there is any inclining that the bride is still under the influence of alcohol on the wedding day, the priest/celebrant won’t allow the ceremony to go ahead not to mention a sick, hung over bride and an angry groom, are the last things you want on your conscience.

-    Write your guest list, again correspond with the bride, she may want only her close friends or her entire family,  in some cases she may even be inviting people from interstate or overseas– either way you must respect her decision and invite accordingly.

 

2 Months prior

-    Send out a ‘save the date’ email 2 months prior to determine the number of available attendees whilst ensuring you have given the best opportunity for everyone to attend.

-    Brainstorm ideas including the location of the event, possible activities / games / tours etc. If it is necessary to make reservations then make sure you make your enquiries and book nice and early to avoid disappointment of missing out.

-    Remember at this point that you don’t want to overschedule the night by cramming in too many activities, the last thing you want is to make your guests feel rushed or scattered by jumping from one location to another.

-    Think responsible, the inevitable part of a hens night is alcohol so organise appropriate transport and accommodation to ensure your guests have a fun and safe night.

 

1 Month prior

-    Send out your invitations approximately 1 month prior to ensure all of the brides busy friends have time to clear their schedules. This should not only include the basic information such as time/date/location/theme but also a polite request for payment if necessary and an itinerary if your planning a pub crawl or something similar.

-    If you are planning a night on the town consider starting at a restaurant - a meal before the big night is a good way to soak up that alcohol later on. Set out your itinerary organising appropriate transport between each location if they are not within walking distance of one another. Inform the pub/clubs of your attendance and in doing so hinting for hens night discount or freebie.

-    If you are planning your party at home organise for nibbles, refreshments, alcohol, games, music and decorations, (stayed tuned for our top fun games and decoration ideas posted up each month).

 

1 Week to go

-    So, its 1 week before and now the fun begins, the best part about the hens night is the shopping hunt for the male genital paraphernalia and other naughty props. Of course if this is not what the bride is ‘in to’ as such other accessories such as tiaras, veils and sashes are also a fun and a valuable part of the night.

-    Make sure you have all of the equipment you require for the games, and most importantly a great knowledge and understanding of how they are run, nothing ruins a good party like a clueless host.

-    Lastly confirm your guest list as they are your most important asset, there is nothing that reads ‘bad host’ or ‘failed hens-night’ like no guests and a disappointed bride.

 

It’s Party time!

-    Given you have carefully followed this checklist, have done your research and are fully prepared there is nothing you should be worried about On the day so most importantly let loose and HAVE FUN!

Good Luck & Happy Planning

 

Placement of the Wedding Ring

Have you ever asked yourself why the wedding ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand?

We recently pondered the same question and in response, we decided to go in search of where this idea may have originated. As you can imagine there were many interpretations and we have outlined our favourite 3 for you.

 

In Western Culture it was thought to originate from the Greek physicians in the third century B.C where they were misled to believe that a vein of blood ran from the third finger of the left hand straight to the heart. A slightly misguided interpretation of the human anatomy, yes, but you can understand their logic of placing the ring that symbolises love and commitment on the part of the body that was thought to be in direct connection to the heart. In fact, this vein was later named ‘vena amori’ or vein of love.

 

The Chinese have a beautiful interpretation and we have outlined this below showing the representation of each finger :

 

Thumb represents your parents

Index finger represents your siblings

Middle finger represents yourself

Ring finger represents your life partner

Little finger represents children

 

Now, this idea is not based solely on just guessing what each finger may represent, there is actually a really sweet theory behind it.

 

Basically, if you place your palms together in front of you and bend your middle fingers down so that they are knuckle to knuckle (see pic) the significance becomes clear.

Your thumbs (which represent your parents) are easily separated as you are separated from them as you move off to marry.

 

Your index finger (which represents your siblings) is also easily separated signifying how you will separate from them in your life, creating your own families.

 

Your middle finger - is removed as it represents yourself.

 

Your little finger (representing your future children) is easily parted also representing that they too are not with you forever.

 

If you try however to separate your ring fingers (representing your life partner) You cannot. Why? because you are tied together as one for eternity. The sentiment behind this theory is beautiful in that the inability to separate these two fingers is exactly where the rings should be placed reminding us of this everlasting unbreakable bond.

 

A final theory (culture unknown) puts forward the idea that the third finger cannot be held out alone, it needs the support of both the middle and little fingers on either side. So what does this signify, well it gives the ring finger union, support and protection thus representing a happy and healthy marriage and life together.

 

The Wedding Gurus xx

Top 50 all time best - Wedding 1st dance songs:

When a couple take to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife it is a moment that is etched in time forever. Everyone in the room stops talking, eating and socialising as all falls silent and the mood shifts. All attention turns back to the couple as they hold each other tightly and move around the floor. It is a big and often very hard decision to pick the one song that is just perfect for this special moment.

We have put together for you a list of OUR picks for the 'Top 50 all-time best - Wedding 1st dance songs'. Now, these may not be your top selections, so if we have missed any that you think should be here, please let us know.

 

To add to this, we will also be doing follow-up posts on our picks for the 'Top 10 All-Time Classic 1st Dance Songs' and the 'Top 10 Modern 1st Dance Songs', including video.

 

We hope you enjoy, and please leave comments with any others you think should definitely be added.

TOP 50 all-time best - Wedding 1st dance songs:

    

50        You’ll be in my heart – Phil Collins

49        Keep on loving you – Speedwagon

48        We found love – Rhianna & Calvin Harris

47        Your song – Elton John

46        Nothing’s real but love – Rebecca Ferguson

45        Only you – The Platters

44        Ave Maria – Beyonce

43        Because you loved me – Celine Dion

42        I knew I loved you – Savage Garden

41        You’ve got the love – Florence & Machine

40        She’s like the wind – Patrick Swayze

39        Far away – Nickelback

38        Feel – Robbie Williams

37        Never gonna give you up – Rick Astley

36        I got you babe – Sonny & Cher

35        Lego House – Ed Sheeran

34        Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones

33        Lucky – Jason Mraz

32        Show me heaven – Maria Mckee

31        It had to be you – Harry Connick Jr

30        Can’t help falling in love with you – Elvis

29        Endless Love – Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey

28        All my life – K-ci & Jojo

27        Nothing’s gonna change my love for you –Air Supply

26        Every beat of my heart – Gladys Night & The Pipps

25        Because of you – Tony Bennett

24        I’m yours – Jason Mraz

23        Sea of love – The Honeydrippers

22        Have I told you lately – Van Morrison

21        Here and now – Luther Vandross

20        With this ring – Shelamar

19        Always and forever – Heatwave

18        Unchained melody – The Righteous brothers

17        Don’t know much – Aaron Neville & Linda Rohnstadt

16        I finally found someone – Bryan Adam & Barbra Streisand

15        The way you look tonight – Frank Sinatra

14        Heaven – Bryan Adams

13        Can you feel the love tonight – Elton John

12        At last – Etta James

11        When a man loves a woman – Michael Bolton

10        You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

9          I will always love you – Whitney Houston

8          Everything I do – Bryan Adams

7          When you say nothing at all – Ronan Keating

6          Angels – Robbie Williams

5          Amazed – Lonestar

4          Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

3          Truly madly deeply – Savage Garden

2          You’re still the one – Shania Twain

1          Don’t want to miss a thing – Aerosmith

Silent Flower Ritual

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but its significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed to the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon-to-be mother-in-law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers' role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Bridal Party Issues - Difficulties with Bridesmaids/Groomsmen

So, you’ve got a member of your bridal party that is giving you hell and causing you grief on all sorts of levels? 

You chose this person because you were friends or maybe it’s your cousin and your family wanted you to include her/him, but now all you want to do is get rid of them, but how? 

This is a more common situation than you might think. For some reason, much like any other highly emotional get-together, a wedding can stir up a lot of trouble in friendships and family situations and cause mixed emotions for all involved. 

For a bride, having a difficult bridesmaid can range from someone who doesn’t seem interested, refuses to participate or just can’t make the time, to complaining about their dress, whining about costs and just plain rudeness. We all know that weddings are stressful enough without the added pressure of a strained relationship with someone who is supposed to be helping out and willing to stand beside you on the big day. When it’s a groomsman the same applies, but it can often mean they fail to show up, make rude comments or make fun of everything you try to do.

 

So, what do you do? How do you handle a situation where you’ve chosen someone to share this special day and all of the planning and fun with you (and possibly forked out money for accessories) and now they’re making it hell?

 

Well, here are our tips.

 

1.     First, make sure that you’re not overreacting. When you’re stressed and emotional, even the littlest things can seem big and important, when in fact they’re not. Write down what’s been happening and how you’re feeling about things and then run it by someone you trust will tell you the truth. If you’re being silly you need to be told, but if there are some real problems then at least you can be sure that the second opinion has confirmed it.

 

2.    You need to consider how close you are to this person. If it is a sister or relative you may need to handle things differently than if it is a friend. The reality is that it is likely you will need to address the situation at some point and it could get hairy.

 

3.    If the person causing the problem is very close to you eg, sister or best friend, are they dealing with anything at the moment that might be causing their behaviour. If they are, then it might be best to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about what’s going on and how to best move forward for both of you.  It may mean that they have to pull out or need a little more understanding, but either way, at least it’s out in the open. If they’re not going through anything that you know of and just appear to be being difficult because of jealousy, laziness or some other unfair reason, then a harsher approach may need to be taken. Take them aside and tell them how you’re feeling. If, at the end of the conversation you’re not feeling any closer to resolving the issue then you may need to consider asking them if they would like to step down.

 

4.     If the person causing the problem is a friend or distant relative, you might need to still gauge whether there is something going on with them, but then just come right out and say how you’re feeling. Explain that this is a big deal for you and that you’d like their support in making it fun and exciting for everyone. If they are unable to do that then you’ll have no choice but to ask them to step away.

 

Some final tips. Approach the person face to face rather than doing it over email or text. Body language says much more than words and you’ll know very quickly if their attitude is saying for you to stick it, or if they are genuinely interested in making it work.

 

Good Luck!