Your Wedding Day - How to make sure you soak it in

 

As a wedding celebrant I have the unique opportunity to be standing right there beside hundreds of couples as they take that huge leap into marriage and commit their lives, hopes and dreams to each other. 

It's an interesting vantage point because over the years it has really demonstrated to me how we all love and commit to another in our own unique way. Some couples are laughing and joking, others are teary and nervous, and others are so focussed on each other they barely notice anyone else is even there!

No matter what kind of couple you are, the most important thing is that your wedding day really reflects who you are. Sure, it's a serious occasion and you might have lots of guests there, but when those people who know and love you walk away from your wedding thinking, that was so them, then that is what really counts.

So, if you and your partner are the kind of couple who joke and tease each other, your ceremony should really have that feel. If you and your partner are serious and romantic, then that should shine through in your wedding ceremony and the vows you say to each other.

But, there's one very important thing I always try to reinforce when I'm working with couples, no matter how they intend to approach their wedding day - MAKE SURE YOU TAKE A BREATH AND SOAK IT IN. 

It is so easy to get caught up with all the noise, the details, the planning, who is where and whether everything is going to plan, but on that day, the most important thing is being there and being present with the person you love, in the moment, and committing your life to them. Even if small things go wrong, you'll still be married at the end of the day, which is the whole point of doing it!

Sometimes when I'm standing beside the groom (or the partner who is beside me) and the bride (or other partner) is about to walk down the aisle, I'll whisper, 'This is it. It's finally here. Look where you are.' and I'll hear them suck in a breath and hold it. The emotion, the excitement, the nervousness as their loved one is about to come and join them and take vows filled with promises of forever. It's a beautiful moment to be a part of and so very important for the couple.

Another opportunity to really soak it in is when signing the legal paperwork (if it's done that way in your country). The couple and celebrant go over to the signing table and the couple sit down. I often fuss around a little bit and give them a minute to chat and laugh and look at each other and then I'll say to them, Can you believe you're now married? and you see the way they look at each other in that moment. It's as if all the stress and worry melts away and their hopes and dreams and being set in motion.

There are also other opportunities to connect and bring yourself back to the moment throughout your wedding day. Every time it's feeling busy on the day, let that be a reminder to you to take a deep breath, look around you and commit it to your heart and memory. Squeeze your partners hand and let yourself feel the excitement of this life changing moment because in the coming years, and particularly in your older years, you will look back on this day and draw upon those feelings. it will become one of the defining moments of your life. 

Good luck!

The Wedding Gurus xx

 

10 Ideas to Plan the Perfect Hen's Night

Here are our top 10 tips for planning a Hen's night the bride will love!

1. Ask the Bride First

If you’re looking for pointers on how to plan the perfect hens night, who better to talk to than the bride herself? She’ll either leave it all up to you or she’ll have a few ideas of her own. Either way it’s always best to hash it out first. If she wants to help you plan, add a few extra surprises along the way.

2. Start Early

If you’re planning a hen’s night, day or weekend it’s best to plan well in advance. This will ensure that all the guests are available and you’ll also be less stressed come the big day.

3. Guest List

Again, you should ask the bride before sending out the invites. You might have a few ideas and want to surprise her but it’s best if she knows who’s invited first so that no one is left out.

4. Pick a Date

Once you’ve got the guest list sorted you can start hashing out dates. Have a few options handy and ask around. One of the dates will ultimately be better suited to most people. Unfortunately when planning parties it’s almost inevitable that one or two people won’t be able to make it but always choose a date that fits the bride, VIP’s and majority of guests.

5. Budget

Once you’ve planned the events you should be able to stick to a budget. You can have a great time without spending a whole lot of money. Keep in mind any accommodation, meals, activities etc. It’s a good idea to let everyone know well ahead of time if you need them to chip in.

6. Accommodation

Whether you’re all staying the night in a fancy hotel or you just need somewhere to play party games, you need to plan your accommodation and book well in advance.

7. Activities

Sure there’s the good old pub crawl but that’s not going to fit with every hen. Instead of coming up with traditional hen night ideas think about the hen’s personality and favourite things and come up with some ideas based around that. It’s hard to go wrong with spa treatments and anything that will pamper your hen and guests.

8. Gifts

The hen’s night is the perfect time to give the hen those cheeky gifts for the wedding night and honeymoon period. Why not buy some beautiful lingerie or some bedroom games for the hen and her rooster.

9. Dinner

Pick a restaurant you and the girls haven’t been to before. Ask for recommendations and always check the place out before you book. See if there’s a secluded area where the party can reside and always check the wine list.

10. Girls Night

A lot of hens would rather a girl’s night in than a pub crawl. Host a girlie sleepover, complete with pyjamas, sleeping bags, beauty kits, romantic comedies and magazines.

Special thanks to Guest Blogger, Sandra Worsley

Author Bio: Sandra Worsley is an experienced Australian writer. She often provides great tips on wedding preparations and organising special events.

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Hindu - The Seven Steps Tradition

 

A traditional Hindu ceremony, in most cases, is quite extravagant and beautiful, incorporating many different rituals and traditions. It is often filled with chanting and Sanskrit blessings dating back to a time long ago. The wedding ceremony is known as 'Samskara', and in India, it can last for days or even weeks. In the West these ceremonies have been modified, they are usually a little less extravagant, but can still last over two hours.

Requirements:  Sari, Fire, Puffed Rice

The central component of a Hindu wedding ceremony is 'Saptapadi', or the 'Seven Steps'. In this ritual the Bride’s Sari is tied to the Groom’s Kurta. Alternatively, a shawl may be draped from his shoulder to her sari. The couple then link ‘pinky’ fingers and the Groom leads his Bride in seven steps around a ceremonial fire.

While this is taking place the celebrant chants the seven blessings and vows for a strong union. These are adapted here in English from the Hindu ceremony.

Example:

1. “May this couple be blessed with an abundance of resources and comforts, and be helpful to one another in all ways.

2. May this couple be strong and complement one another.

3. May this couple be blessed with prosperity and riches on all levels.

4. May this couple be eternally happy.

5. May this couple be blessed with a happy family life.

6. May this couple live in perfect harmony… true to their personal values and their joint promises.

7. May this couple always be the best of friends.”

With each step, they throw small pieces of puffed rice into the fire, representing prosperity in their new life together. The action of walking around the fire indicates that they agree to these seven blessings. This is considered the most important part of the ceremony as it seals the bond forever.

This ancient ritual can be easily adapted into a contemporary civil marriage ceremony with the use of an ornamental pot of fire that can be placed on a small table. The bride and groom can then take seven steps around the table, while the seven blessings are spoken in English.

It is not necessary to be Hindu to incorporate a ritual such as the Seven Steps in a marriage ceremony. Rituals and Traditions are becoming ever popular, with couples all over the world trying to find a ritual that is different and unique, that will make their ceremony memorable. As long as they remain respectful of the culture to which the ritual belongs, the use of it then makes for a beautiful and meaningful experience for all.

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Handfasting with Children

Some time ago we brought you a version of a 'handfasting' which has been very popular on the blog, so we thought we would follow it up with a fabulous way of including children in this wonderfully meaningful ritual.

Including children in a handfasting:

Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.

During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as a reminder of their promise to them on this day.

(Bride & Groom) wanted to find a way to let their children know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents'.

Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents

Celebrant addresses children:

'(Insert children’s names): These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime'.

You can amend the wording of any of our ritual examples to suit your own family circumstances. Check out some of the others we've shared in previous posts.

The Wedding Gurus x

 

Wedding Rituals - Handfasting Ceremony Wording

There are many different versions of handfasting ceremonies that are used in different cultures around the world. The way you do it for your own ceremony is really up to you.

You can personalise the wording of any handfasting ritual, or write your own meaningful words to go with the binding of the hands.

To accompany our handfasting ceremony video below, we thought it would be helpful to provide you with the wording for a couple of the more popular wording variations. 

You can checkout our video below or use some of the wording options we've provided.

Example 1:

Celebrant:‘Nicole and Gary have chosen to include a hand fasting ritual in their ceremony today as a symbol of their love Nicole and Gary please hold your hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to each of you.’

(the hands are bound lightly by celebrant)

‘These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, which are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other all the days of your life.

These are the hands that will work alongside of yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. 

These are that hands which will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands which will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief engulfs your heart.

These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realised. 

This binding represents the love that has bound you together to this point. It will continue to bind you to one another until the binding of your rings takes it place.’

The ceremony continues with the couple’s hands bound until the ring exchange at which point the celebrant removes the binding, and the rings then take its place as their binding for life.

Example 2: 

Celebrant: Please join hands. As your hands are joined, so now are your lives. (Celebrant binds the hands)

Above you are the stars

below you are the stones

as time does pass

Remember

Like a star should your love be constant

Like a stone should your love be firm

Be close, but not too close

Posses one another, but be understanding

Have patience with one another

For storms will come, but they will go quickly

Be free in the giving of affection and warmth

Make love often, and be sensuous with one another

Have no fear and let not the ways or words

of the unenlightened give you unease for the Gods are with you.

Hands remain bound until the ring exchange.

Example 3:  Handfasting with Children

Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today, who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.

During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as reminder of their promise to them on this day. 

They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents. 

Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents

 

Celebrant addresses children:

(Insert children’s names) These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

A Family Unity Ritual - Exchange of Rings (including children)

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. 

This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion.

 

At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say: 

 

"Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward? Jake, can we please have the rings?"

 

(The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)

  

"Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers).

The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.

 

May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.

 

The Wedding Gurus.

Wedding Ceremony planning

 

Let’s talk Ceremonies

To keep it upbeat and light I thought I would talk about ceremonies in general. Keep in mind that while couples spend months and thousands of dollars on their receptions, they sometimes forget about the ceremony. Of course the party and dancing are wonderful, but don’t forget that what you are there for is to actually commit to one another for life. Your family and guests aren’t just there for the free food and entertainment (although if your family is anything like mine, they may well be), they are there to see you make that commitments to one another. A good ceremony will envoke an emotive response in your guests with laughter and tears and warm memories.

So many clients come to me having absolutely no idea about how to plan their wedding ceremony, what the legal requirements are or how to put together something special and memorable which is what we all want, right?

The first question I usually ask them is “have you attended many ceremonies before?” Often the answer is no and it is at this point we start with a completely blank canvas and begin to build a fantastic ceremony from scratch.

Sometimes though, the answer is yes, so the next question I ask them is “thinking back to those ceremonies, what did you like, what did you dislike and were there any points during the ceremony that you felt like pulling your fingernails out with boredom?”

This is always a great place to start. It’s easy to pick someone elses ceremony to pieces so the best way to make yours great is to analyse those that you yourself have attended. It’s not about being mean, but about recognising what inspires and uplifts you and how you can put some of your own personalities into your big day so that it really reflects who you are as individuals and as a couple.

Once we have established a list of like’s and dislike’s then we are ready to start making some plans. There are so many choices, but the most important thing to establish before proceeding is if you want a more traditional ceremony or something modern and different. If you really want to stick with a traditional format, then there are plenty of things that you can incorporate to make it beautiful and most importantly your own. If you really want something different and modern however, then the world is your oyster so to speak!

There are so many considerations, such as the length of the ceremony, the wording, giving of the bride, readings, vows whether or not to include a ritual and the list goes on……

So what is the order of a ‘usual’ ceremony?

Well it goes something like this, but is open to modification:

 

 › Opening music details:

 › Details of Bridal parties entrance

› The Welcome: (Celebrant usually writes this – just 1-2 lines)

› Any announcements about having an unplugged ceremony - no photos or social media

› Acknowledgement of loved ones that are passed or can't be present

› Giving of the Bride:

› Introduction:

› 1^st Reading: To be read by:

› Celebrant’s legal words (where required)

› The Asking:

› The Vows: 

› The Ring Ceremony: 

› Details of any traditions/rituals/symbolism/blessings: 

› 2^nd Reading: To be read by:

› Declaration by Celebrant:

› Signing of Marriage Certificate & Register

› Presentation of Bride and Groom as Mr & Mrs

› Any announcements for guests - group photos or petal archway etc

 

So this is just a guide and as long as all of the legal requirements are met (depending on which country you live in of course) then you can add and remove things to suit your needs.

In future blogs I will address each of these sections individually and in more depth, so please post your comments or any questions and I am happy to answer or help in any way.

The Wedding Gurus are back!

 

Hello again!

It was a long time ago that we first created the Wedding Gurus to bring helpful tips and advice to couples getting married. We shared so many ideas and of course, all of the knowledge (and learning) that we had gained over the years from working in the wedding industry. We also brought you some good informative videos that demonstrated how to do different wedding rituals and traditions and let's not forger how badly edited and cringeworthy some of them were! (They're still on YouTube by the way!)

Coming back to this feels like coming home. We've taken a big break due to weddings, kids, losing loved ones and just trying to do life like everyone else is, but we're here now and we intend to bring you some great ideas and helpful posts that will make your planning a little easier.

As a marriage and funeral celebrant Susan has decades of real life experience doing weddings and  expertise in wedding rituals and traditions. Reach out, ask a question or get in touch if you need a little extra help. We'd love to hear from you.

As authors, we'll also be working in some writing stuff - writing vows, writing your own ceremony or even keeping written journals or other writing of important life events. 

We've called this blog 'The Wedding Gurus Premium' because we want to bring you the best of our old content and a whole heap of new stuff, so stay tuned.

We can't wait to get started!

The Wedding Gurus

xx