Silent Flower Ritual

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but its significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed to the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon-to-be mother-in-law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers' role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

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Bridal Party Issues - Difficulties with Bridesmaids/Groomsmen

So, you’ve got a member of your bridal party that is giving you hell and causing you grief on all sorts of levels? 

You chose this person because you were friends or maybe it’s your cousin and your family wanted you to include her/him, but now all you want to do is get rid of them, but how? 

This is a more common situation than you might think. For some reason, much like any other highly emotional get-together, a wedding can stir up a lot of trouble in friendships and family situations and cause mixed emotions for all involved. 

For a bride, having a difficult bridesmaid can range from someone who doesn’t seem interested, refuses to participate or just can’t make the time, to complaining about their dress, whining about costs and just plain rudeness. We all know that weddings are stressful enough without the added pressure of a strained relationship with someone who is supposed to be helping out and willing to stand beside you on the big day. When it’s a groomsman the same applies, but it can often mean they fail to show up, make rude comments or make fun of everything you try to do.

 

So, what do you do? How do you handle a situation where you’ve chosen someone to share this special day and all of the planning and fun with you (and possibly forked out money for accessories) and now they’re making it hell?

 

Well, here are our tips.

 

1.     First, make sure that you’re not overreacting. When you’re stressed and emotional, even the littlest things can seem big and important, when in fact they’re not. Write down what’s been happening and how you’re feeling about things and then run it by someone you trust will tell you the truth. If you’re being silly you need to be told, but if there are some real problems then at least you can be sure that the second opinion has confirmed it.

 

2.    You need to consider how close you are to this person. If it is a sister or relative you may need to handle things differently than if it is a friend. The reality is that it is likely you will need to address the situation at some point and it could get hairy.

 

3.    If the person causing the problem is very close to you eg, sister or best friend, are they dealing with anything at the moment that might be causing their behaviour. If they are, then it might be best to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about what’s going on and how to best move forward for both of you.  It may mean that they have to pull out or need a little more understanding, but either way, at least it’s out in the open. If they’re not going through anything that you know of and just appear to be being difficult because of jealousy, laziness or some other unfair reason, then a harsher approach may need to be taken. Take them aside and tell them how you’re feeling. If, at the end of the conversation you’re not feeling any closer to resolving the issue then you may need to consider asking them if they would like to step down.

 

4.     If the person causing the problem is a friend or distant relative, you might need to still gauge whether there is something going on with them, but then just come right out and say how you’re feeling. Explain that this is a big deal for you and that you’d like their support in making it fun and exciting for everyone. If they are unable to do that then you’ll have no choice but to ask them to step away.

 

Some final tips. Approach the person face to face rather than doing it over email or text. Body language says much more than words and you’ll know very quickly if their attitude is saying for you to stick it, or if they are genuinely interested in making it work.

 

Good Luck!

 

A Family Unity Ritual - Exchange of Rings (including children)

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. 

This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion.

 

At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say: 

 

"Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward? Jake, can we please have the rings?"

 

(The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)

  

"Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers).

The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.

 

May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.

 

The Wedding Gurus.

Top Tips when planning a DIY Destination Wedding.

Planning a wedding locally is relatively easy, well sort of! (if you don't have family drama, messed up plans or any of the other issues that usually drive people crazy).

Hundreds of brides, every day, plan their weddings with the benefit of suppliers and venues who are nearby and can be visited for lots of options and guidance. But what if you’re a bride planning a destination wedding in an exotic location like Bali, Mexico or Thailand…tasting that wedding cake might be a bit tricky, not to mention getting it delivered! 

We know that when every bride sets out on the wedding planning journey, the first thing to happen is the creation of the mood board, and no bride wants to compromise on their DIY vision! 

Getting all those DIY trinkets - think jam jars and origami cranes - “on location” is tricky and brides often have to settle for the ‘cookie cutter’ package the resorts offer, or suffer the cheesy props local hire places have on offer for crazy prices – try $12USD per candle in Mexico!

Although destination weddings shed their fair share of stress comparatively there are more stresses involved that most brides don’t even realise until the last minute. 

So, to give you a b it of a hand getting started, here are our top 5 musts when planning for a destination wedding.

1. Thinking ahead – A destination wedding doesn’t just mean jetting off and forgetting about everything! As well as the wedding plans and your own travel arrangements, your guests are likely to be travelling a long distance also. Don’t forget to think about their travel, accommodation and giving them all the necessary information about the local area. Best thing to do is sit down and write a to-do list of all the arrangements that need to be made, including travel, shipping, purchasing props and shipping. Next, assign responsibilities and deadlines to each task. This way, you’ll banish that bridezilla and make the day stress free!

2. Budgeting – From the onset, decide what’s important to you to take and what’s not. Trying to lug everything across the world is a hassle and not to mention expensive – especially if you have to pay excess baggage fees just to get your dress and veil across. So look into what is light and easy to send (think DIY faves such as fairy lights, jam jars, origami cranes and chalkboards), and think about what is most important to you and really adds to your vision of the day.

3. Getting ‘The Dress’ there – it’s your pride and joy but how are you going to get it there in one piece? There are a couple of options – you can place it in your luggage, pack it in a special box, carry it on board the plane and ask a nice flight attendant to care for it or even wear it on the plane – imagine the sight! However, you take it there, bring a portable steamer with you or check if your resort has one if you’re dealing with a different shaped outlet (see you really do have to think of everything).

4. The location – Do your research into the customs policies for your destination. Some countries don’t allow fruit, wood or other items, so make sure the DIY items you plan to take are allowed in the country.

5. Shipping – No bride should have to give up on the details – they’re the bits that everyone remembers! Excess baggage fees can be ridiculous, so do your research and cost comparisons and find a shipping company which suits you. If you’re going to an exotic location in the middle of nowhere, check out Pack and Send, which will send absolutely everything and anything anywhere. Anywhere? YES ANYWHERE.

Get planning your amazing destination wedding!

Creative ways to remember lost loved ones in your ceremony

Many couples about to wed have a mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister who have passed and cannot be there to celebrate with them on their special day. 

It can be very important to a lot of couples to remember these people by adding a special gesture somewhere throughout their day. However, getting the balance right between acknowledgement and keeping it light and simple so as not to over-upset the couple or the guests, is important.

We have compiled a list of ideas in this video and if you have an idea to add to this list please feel free to share it with us as a comment below: 

The Wedding Gurus

Traditional Seating at a Formal Church or Civil Ceremony

As part of our ongoing 52 Rituals/Traditions from around the world, we thought we might take a bit of a look at seating arrangements for the ceremony.

If you’re having a traditional church wedding or a large civil ceremony, but want to uphold some of the more formal or religious traditions around seating, you might want to consider the seating arrangements for the ceremony.

 

Traditionally, the bride's family and friends will be seated on the left hand side facing the front while the groom's family and friends are seated on the right. 

 

The best way to ensure that people sit where you want them to is to have an usher show people where to sit. This alleviates any confusion and lets guests know that it is okay to sit down and that they are in the right spot. Often people will stand around for fear of sitting somewhere they are not supposed to. Ushers should where possible seat guests as they arrive, from front rows to back

 

Another option is to simply place flowers or ribbons on the ends of the first few rows so that guests know that this is seating for immediate family and special guests.

Row 1 (front left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Parents – it can be difficult to organise if the parents are divorced, but if they are on good terms then they can sit together in the front row. However, if they are remarried or not on good terms, one parent and his/her new partner may like to sit a row or two back to keep things pleasant.;

Row 2 (front right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Parents – with the same considerations as above

Row 3. (second left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 4. (second right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Grandparents and Siblings

Row 5. (third left) Should be set aside for the Bride's Special Guests

Row 6. (third right) Should be set aside for the Groom's Special Guests

All of the other rows can be filled with other guests in attendance as they please. It is best to have any young children toward the back so that if they need to be taken outside, it can be done without disruption to the service.

 

Of course, all of this is nothing more than a choice and if you decide to just mix it up a little and let guests sit anywhere then do what makes you happy! You can even add a fun sign that says:

No need to pick a side, we're all family now!

The Wedding Gurus

xxx