Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Gorgeous Wedding Earth Ritual

 This is one of our all time favourites!

Requirements: Guest participation, medium sized plant pot and seedling

In most wedding traditions, the main focus is naturally on the bride and groom, and where appropriate, their children. They seek to convey the significance and beauty of bringing two individuals together or in uniting a family. The ‘Earth Ritual’ does this, but it goes a little further by involving all of the family and friends in attendance. They not only take part, but are asked to contribute and it is this contribution that sets the foundation for the ritual.

When sending out wedding invitations a small note is included, asking each guest to bring a small container filled with some soil from around their home. (it only needs to be a small amount, especially if it is a large celebration.)

A medium sized plant pot and a seedling are placed on a nearby table. At a certain point in the ceremony, the celebrant may introduce the ritual that is to be performed.

Example:

‘Amanda and Alex have chosen to include a special ritual in their ceremony that involves all of you as their loved ones – those people that they hold most dear.

Each of you has been asked to bring a small amount of soil which was lovingly taken from your own home, filled with love and hope, and today it is hoped that as each of you place your earth into this vessel, it will retain that love.

Once the pot is full, Amanda and Alex will plant the seedling that rests beside it, ready to grow and be nourished by the love of all of you.

I would now like to invite the parents and grandparents to come forward.’

(Once they’ve finished)

‘If everyone else could now please come forward.’

(When everyone has added their earth)

‘Amanda and Alex – your pot has now been filled with the love, hope and best wishes of all of your family and friends. It has been taken from their own lives, their own homes and now passed on to you as symbolic foundation of your future life together. As you now plant the seedling, let its growth and beauty be a constant reminder of the blending of your two lives and families and the love and support that they have for you as they watch you grow together.’

(Couple finish planting the seedling and the celebrant returns to the concluding of the ceremony)

This ritual is easy to do and very effective. As long as everyone participates, its significance is beautiful and memorable. The wording can be changed and easily adapted to suit all situations.

The Wedding Gurus xx

Hens Night planning - The Basics you need

 

Planning a Hens night can be stressful, but we're  here to help.

There are loads of ideas that can be found online, but here's a little overview to get you started.

3 Months prior

-    The hens night planning should begin at least 3 months  prior to the wedding, the last thing you want is for the night to be a flop and the bride to feel disappointed because you left it to the last minute. 

      Ask the bride what type of hens night she is hoping for: a night on the town, a weekend getaway, a day of pampering or a fun night at home. Aim to understand her comfort level remember what you may consider as a fun night out she may consider as a nightmare and there is nothing worse than a humiliated bride. Determine the demographics of your guest list and plan accordingly, your aim as the organiser is to ensure all your lovely guests have a safe, fun and memorable night.

-    Next you should establish a date, we suggest for this to be between 2-3 weeks before the wedding, NEVER EVER EVER do it the night before! The only exception to this golden rule is if the bride or bridal party are flying in for the wedding – and if so keep it low key. If there is any inclining that the bride is still under the influence of alcohol on the wedding day, the priest/celebrant won’t allow the ceremony to go ahead not to mention a sick, hung over bride and an angry groom, are the last things you want on your conscience.

-    Write your guest list, again correspond with the bride, she may want only her close friends or her entire family,  in some cases she may even be inviting people from interstate or overseas– either way you must respect her decision and invite accordingly.

 

2 Months prior

-    Send out a ‘save the date’ email 2 months prior to determine the number of available attendees whilst ensuring you have given the best opportunity for everyone to attend.

-    Brainstorm ideas including the location of the event, possible activities / games / tours etc. If it is necessary to make reservations then make sure you make your enquiries and book nice and early to avoid disappointment of missing out.

-    Remember at this point that you don’t want to overschedule the night by cramming in too many activities, the last thing you want is to make your guests feel rushed or scattered by jumping from one location to another.

-    Think responsible, the inevitable part of a hens night is alcohol so organise appropriate transport and accommodation to ensure your guests have a fun and safe night.

 

1 Month prior

-    Send out your invitations approximately 1 month prior to ensure all of the brides busy friends have time to clear their schedules. This should not only include the basic information such as time/date/location/theme but also a polite request for payment if necessary and an itinerary if your planning a pub crawl or something similar.

-    If you are planning a night on the town consider starting at a restaurant - a meal before the big night is a good way to soak up that alcohol later on. Set out your itinerary organising appropriate transport between each location if they are not within walking distance of one another. Inform the pub/clubs of your attendance and in doing so hinting for hens night discount or freebie.

-    If you are planning your party at home organise for nibbles, refreshments, alcohol, games, music and decorations, (stayed tuned for our top fun games and decoration ideas posted up each month).

 

1 Week to go

-    So, its 1 week before and now the fun begins, the best part about the hens night is the shopping hunt for the male genital paraphernalia and other naughty props. Of course if this is not what the bride is ‘in to’ as such other accessories such as tiaras, veils and sashes are also a fun and a valuable part of the night.

-    Make sure you have all of the equipment you require for the games, and most importantly a great knowledge and understanding of how they are run, nothing ruins a good party like a clueless host.

-    Lastly confirm your guest list as they are your most important asset, there is nothing that reads ‘bad host’ or ‘failed hens-night’ like no guests and a disappointed bride.

 

It’s Party time!

-    Given you have carefully followed this checklist, have done your research and are fully prepared there is nothing you should be worried about On the day so most importantly let loose and HAVE FUN!

Good Luck & Happy Planning

 

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Cup of Life Ritual

We love sharing our ideas for wedding rituals and traditions that can be easily performed without too much hassle. This one, The Cup of Life, is idea behind it is really lovely.

The ‘Cup of Life’ is a symbolic ritual that signifies the bride and groom as individuals coming together as one through the sharing of wine.

Requirements: Goblet, Bottle of wine

An open bottle of wine is placed along with a glass on a nearby table. The cup is representative of ‘life’ while the wine represents the good times and bad with both sweet and bitter elements. The sentiment is that any bitterness is lessened and any sweetness is doubled or heightened because it is shared.

Example:

‘Glenn and Pauline have chosen to include a symbolic gesture in their ceremony today called ‘’Sharing the cup of Life’ Glenn could you please pour the wine and take a drink and then hand the cup to Pauline to drink.

This glass of wine is symbolic of the cup of life. As you share this wine, you promise to share all that the future may bring. All the sweetness the cup of life may hold for you should be sweeter because you drink it together; and whatever drops of bitterness it may contain should be less because they are shared. We wish you all the blessings that life can bring-joy and gladness, love and companionship, happiness and prosperity all the days of your life’

The ‘Cup of Life’ is a simple and easy ritual/tradition to perform and is always well received by guests.

The Wedding Gurus xx

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - A Family Unity Sand Ceremony

One of the most popular rituals performed in wedding ceremonies today is the ‘Unity Sand Ritual’. The rite can be performed by the couple alone, but is more often used when there are children from previous relationships or when the couple already have children of their own. The Unity Sand Ritual is a wonderfully unifying ritual; simple yet meaningful.

Requirements: A sand kit including - clear glass vase or goblet and different coloured sand in ornamental bottle for each person involved.

The glass vase is placed in the centre of a small table at the ceremony’s location. To add a personal touch it can be accessorised, or engraved with the couple’s initials or names and the wedding date.

Two of the smaller vases, containing different coloured sands, are placed either side of the central vase, one for the bride and one for the groom. These sands can be in the wedding colours.

During the sand ceremony, the celebrant will verbally direct the couple to take turns to pour the sand from their individual vases into the central vase, creating a layered effect. If children are participating, they will then be invited to pour their own colours, to mark their inclusion as part of a loving family.

Finally the couple will pour the remainder of the sand into the vase at the same time so that the two colours combine and can’t be separated, symbolising the unassailable strength of their union. A poem or reading can be recited at the same time as the sand is poured.

Tip: If the ceremony takes place at a beach the celebrant may take some sand from the ground and pour it as the final layer to represent the location where the couple solemnised their family’s unity and commitment.

Example:

‘Jane and Daniel have chosen to include a symbolic ritual in their ceremony today called the Unity Sand Ritual. Could I ask Rebecca and Shane to bring Brayden and Sarah forward.

Jane, Daniel, Brayden and Sarah, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other as a family. The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family is symbolized through the pouring of these four individual containers of sand; One, representing you Jane and one representing you Daniel and all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. The other two representing your two beautiful children Brayden and Sarah and all that they have been and have meant to you and the unlimited potential for what they may become.

As each of you hold your sand, the separate containers represent your individual and unique lives up to this point. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one. I ask you now to individually pour half of your sand into the container. We will start with you Daniel.

Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be.

I now ask that you all pour your remaining sand into the container together. May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.’

Here is a little video of what this might look like:

 

Modern Giving of the Bride Wording

In this day and age many couples still like the idea and tradition of the Giving of the Bride, but perhaps not what is stands for or the wording that goes with it. 

If the bride wants someone to escort her down the aisle, she can choose instead to modify the wording to a more modern version. 

Any wording can be used, but here is a sample we prepared for you as an idea:

Celebrant addresses person escorting bride (attendant)

Cel     Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.

           Celebrant: Rachel, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord?

           Rachel: Yes, it is true.

           Celebrant:  And with whose blessings accompany you?

           Bride's attendant: She’s accompanied with her father’s blessings.

vvvv

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Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Something Old, Something New

 

One of the most common and recognised wedding traditions has to be ‘Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue’ – and if you are going all the way then ‘And a Sliver Sixpence in her Shoe.’

Requirements: The 5 specified items

Of the many thousands of traditions that have come and gone over the centuries, this old English rhyme from the Victorian era is one that has truly endured, and for some reason is still the most popular of all wedding rituals & traditions in our modern society.

‘Something Old’ is said to symbolise the special connection that the bride has with her own family, to her origins and her past, that she will continue to maintain. ‘Something Old’ – allows the bride to choose something that is meaningful from the family, perhaps an heirloom or a piece of her grandmother’s, (or other family member’s) jewellery. Another option, far more popular in the past than in recent times, is the wearing of a wedding gown belonging to her mother or grandmother.

‘Something New’ signifies that if the bride has something new, then good fortune and success will be in abundance as she begins her new life with her husband. ‘Something new’ can be anything of her choosing, but if she is not wearing a dress from the past, then her new wedding dress is often a good choice.

‘Something Borrowed’ is a reminder to the bride of her strong friendships and family bond. The borrowing of an item will give her a sense that she will have love and support whenever she may need it, and always have others to lean on when times are tough. The borrowed item is most often something that is easily concealed, worn or able to fit in a small purse.

‘Something Blue’ is a symbol of love, faithfulness, modesty, fidelity and loyalty. In ancient times blue was the colour that represented all of these.  Brides often wore blue wedding gowns in those times and today still honour this by wearing a blue garter.

‘A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe’ A sixpence is an old pre-decimal coin which, if concealed in her shoe, was said to bring to the bride the good wishes of loved ones for financial security and happiness. For the best of fortune, she should be sure to wear it in her left shoe. In modern times any other silver coin may be used as a substitute, but there are places that sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.

Tradition has it that a bride who carries these objects will ensure that she is blessed with a happy, long and prosperous married life. While we love this tradition and all of its sentiment, if a bride finds herself without one of these items, she may choose to begin a new tradition with what she has rather than see it as an omen. Every bride is beautiful and lucky on her big day!

The Wedding Gurus xx

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - The Unity Candle Ritual (Bride and Groom)

 

The ‘Unity Candle’ ceremony is becoming increasingly popular in modern and traditional weddings. 

There are many versions of this ritual, some involving different people and entire families, but for this version, the conducting of the ritual symbolizes the commitment of the bride and groom to each other and the merging of the two families. 

As a general rule, 3 candles are required to perform a unity candle ceremony; 1 large centre candle and 2 slim (or taper) candles.

The Mothers of the Bride and Groom may light the 2 taper candles. The Bride and Groom taking these candles, proceed to light the single large candle, representing their two lives and two families uniting as one.

The two single candles may then be blown out to represent the extinguishing of their single lives, (or they may be kept alight to signify that, although united through marriage they still retain their individuality).

Requirements: 1 large Candle and 2 slim or taper Candles

Example Wording:

‘The lighting of these family candles symbolise Caroline and Jacob’s separate lives and pasts before today.

(Bride’s and Groom’s Mothers light the candles).

Through the love, support, wisdom and guidance which they have both received from their families, they are here today to join their lives as one.

Caroline and Jacob, with the light from your family candles, unite the two flames into one

(Bride and Groom light centre candles).

The unity of this flame symbolises the union of your separate lives and your families, into a commitment made in love and kept in faith. The two of you now have a fire that represents love, understanding and the future. It will give you warmth and happiness through even the darkest times. This new fire represents a new beginning, a new life and a new family.’

The candles can then burn throughout the remainder of the ceremony being extinguished at the end.

Checkout our YouTube channel, The Wedding Gurus for a video on the Unity Candle Ritual and many more, at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtdzLi6-IK7AkwzvZNtrbtw

Placement of the Wedding Ring

Have you ever asked yourself why the wedding ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand?

We recently pondered the same question and in response, we decided to go in search of where this idea may have originated. As you can imagine there were many interpretations and we have outlined our favourite 3 for you.

 

In Western Culture it was thought to originate from the Greek physicians in the third century B.C where they were misled to believe that a vein of blood ran from the third finger of the left hand straight to the heart. A slightly misguided interpretation of the human anatomy, yes, but you can understand their logic of placing the ring that symbolises love and commitment on the part of the body that was thought to be in direct connection to the heart. In fact, this vein was later named ‘vena amori’ or vein of love.

 

The Chinese have a beautiful interpretation and we have outlined this below showing the representation of each finger :

 

Thumb represents your parents

Index finger represents your siblings

Middle finger represents yourself

Ring finger represents your life partner

Little finger represents children

 

Now, this idea is not based solely on just guessing what each finger may represent, there is actually a really sweet theory behind it.

 

Basically, if you place your palms together in front of you and bend your middle fingers down so that they are knuckle to knuckle (see pic) the significance becomes clear.

Your thumbs (which represent your parents) are easily separated as you are separated from them as you move off to marry.

 

Your index finger (which represents your siblings) is also easily separated signifying how you will separate from them in your life, creating your own families.

 

Your middle finger - is removed as it represents yourself.

 

Your little finger (representing your future children) is easily parted also representing that they too are not with you forever.

 

If you try however to separate your ring fingers (representing your life partner) You cannot. Why? because you are tied together as one for eternity. The sentiment behind this theory is beautiful in that the inability to separate these two fingers is exactly where the rings should be placed reminding us of this everlasting unbreakable bond.

 

A final theory (culture unknown) puts forward the idea that the third finger cannot be held out alone, it needs the support of both the middle and little fingers on either side. So what does this signify, well it gives the ring finger union, support and protection thus representing a happy and healthy marriage and life together.

 

The Wedding Gurus xx

Top 50 all time best - Wedding 1st dance songs:

When a couple take to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife it is a moment that is etched in time forever. Everyone in the room stops talking, eating and socialising as all falls silent and the mood shifts. All attention turns back to the couple as they hold each other tightly and move around the floor. It is a big and often very hard decision to pick the one song that is just perfect for this special moment.

We have put together for you a list of OUR picks for the 'Top 50 all-time best - Wedding 1st dance songs'. Now, these may not be your top selections, so if we have missed any that you think should be here, please let us know.

 

To add to this, we will also be doing follow-up posts on our picks for the 'Top 10 All-Time Classic 1st Dance Songs' and the 'Top 10 Modern 1st Dance Songs', including video.

 

We hope you enjoy, and please leave comments with any others you think should definitely be added.

TOP 50 all-time best - Wedding 1st dance songs:

    

50        You’ll be in my heart – Phil Collins

49        Keep on loving you – Speedwagon

48        We found love – Rhianna & Calvin Harris

47        Your song – Elton John

46        Nothing’s real but love – Rebecca Ferguson

45        Only you – The Platters

44        Ave Maria – Beyonce

43        Because you loved me – Celine Dion

42        I knew I loved you – Savage Garden

41        You’ve got the love – Florence & Machine

40        She’s like the wind – Patrick Swayze

39        Far away – Nickelback

38        Feel – Robbie Williams

37        Never gonna give you up – Rick Astley

36        I got you babe – Sonny & Cher

35        Lego House – Ed Sheeran

34        Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones

33        Lucky – Jason Mraz

32        Show me heaven – Maria Mckee

31        It had to be you – Harry Connick Jr

30        Can’t help falling in love with you – Elvis

29        Endless Love – Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey

28        All my life – K-ci & Jojo

27        Nothing’s gonna change my love for you –Air Supply

26        Every beat of my heart – Gladys Night & The Pipps

25        Because of you – Tony Bennett

24        I’m yours – Jason Mraz

23        Sea of love – The Honeydrippers

22        Have I told you lately – Van Morrison

21        Here and now – Luther Vandross

20        With this ring – Shelamar

19        Always and forever – Heatwave

18        Unchained melody – The Righteous brothers

17        Don’t know much – Aaron Neville & Linda Rohnstadt

16        I finally found someone – Bryan Adam & Barbra Streisand

15        The way you look tonight – Frank Sinatra

14        Heaven – Bryan Adams

13        Can you feel the love tonight – Elton John

12        At last – Etta James

11        When a man loves a woman – Michael Bolton

10        You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

9          I will always love you – Whitney Houston

8          Everything I do – Bryan Adams

7          When you say nothing at all – Ronan Keating

6          Angels – Robbie Williams

5          Amazed – Lonestar

4          Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

3          Truly madly deeply – Savage Garden

2          You’re still the one – Shania Twain

1          Don’t want to miss a thing – Aerosmith

Bridal Party Issues - Difficulties with Bridesmaids/Groomsmen

So, you’ve got a member of your bridal party that is giving you hell and causing you grief on all sorts of levels? 

You chose this person because you were friends or maybe it’s your cousin and your family wanted you to include her/him, but now all you want to do is get rid of them, but how? 

This is a more common situation than you might think. For some reason, much like any other highly emotional get-together, a wedding can stir up a lot of trouble in friendships and family situations and cause mixed emotions for all involved. 

For a bride, having a difficult bridesmaid can range from someone who doesn’t seem interested, refuses to participate or just can’t make the time, to complaining about their dress, whining about costs and just plain rudeness. We all know that weddings are stressful enough without the added pressure of a strained relationship with someone who is supposed to be helping out and willing to stand beside you on the big day. When it’s a groomsman the same applies, but it can often mean they fail to show up, make rude comments or make fun of everything you try to do.

 

So, what do you do? How do you handle a situation where you’ve chosen someone to share this special day and all of the planning and fun with you (and possibly forked out money for accessories) and now they’re making it hell?

 

Well, here are our tips.

 

1.     First, make sure that you’re not overreacting. When you’re stressed and emotional, even the littlest things can seem big and important, when in fact they’re not. Write down what’s been happening and how you’re feeling about things and then run it by someone you trust will tell you the truth. If you’re being silly you need to be told, but if there are some real problems then at least you can be sure that the second opinion has confirmed it.

 

2.    You need to consider how close you are to this person. If it is a sister or relative you may need to handle things differently than if it is a friend. The reality is that it is likely you will need to address the situation at some point and it could get hairy.

 

3.    If the person causing the problem is very close to you eg, sister or best friend, are they dealing with anything at the moment that might be causing their behaviour. If they are, then it might be best to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about what’s going on and how to best move forward for both of you.  It may mean that they have to pull out or need a little more understanding, but either way, at least it’s out in the open. If they’re not going through anything that you know of and just appear to be being difficult because of jealousy, laziness or some other unfair reason, then a harsher approach may need to be taken. Take them aside and tell them how you’re feeling. If, at the end of the conversation you’re not feeling any closer to resolving the issue then you may need to consider asking them if they would like to step down.

 

4.     If the person causing the problem is a friend or distant relative, you might need to still gauge whether there is something going on with them, but then just come right out and say how you’re feeling. Explain that this is a big deal for you and that you’d like their support in making it fun and exciting for everyone. If they are unable to do that then you’ll have no choice but to ask them to step away.

 

Some final tips. Approach the person face to face rather than doing it over email or text. Body language says much more than words and you’ll know very quickly if their attitude is saying for you to stick it, or if they are genuinely interested in making it work.

 

Good Luck!

 

Hens Night Game: Find My Person

So, you're planning a Hens night? 

If you're heading into town, then this game will be the perfect addition to your night of fun. 

Create some playing cards by drawing or describing different types of people on them. For example, you may include a red-haired person with tattoos, a short person in a suit, or a muscular person with piercings. 

Each player is given three of these playing cards to take out on the night. The aim of the game is for each player to match their playing card to a real-life person. The player must take a picture of the matching person for proof. 

The first to find all three people matching their cards, wins.  

*TIP: We thought it would be a really easy and cool idea to hand out character cards from the game 'Guess Who' and have people find the person who looks like the guess who characters.

You can mix it up as much as you like.

Have fun!

A Family Unity Ritual - Exchange of Rings (including children)

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. 

This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion.

 

At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say: 

 

"Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward? Jake, can we please have the rings?"

 

(The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)

  

"Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers).

The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.

 

May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.

 

The Wedding Gurus.